Monday, May 3, 2021

Caffeine


 

I was called to ER to see a stroke patient.

 

Dr. Grumpy: "How did this all start?"

Mrs. Folger: "I woke up, and when I tried to get out of bed, I couldn't walk without holding on to stuff. My right arm and leg were both weak and clumsy."

Dr. Grumpy: "When..."

Mrs. Folger: "So, like anyone else, I figured it was because I hadn't had my coffee yet, so I sort-of-staggered down to the kitchen and brewed a pot."

Dr. Grumpy: "Did you call 911?"

Mrs. Folger: "No, I mean, after my 3rd cup the weakness still wasn't getting better. So that's when I figured I needed something stronger and drove myself to Starbucks. Which wasn't easy with the right side problem, believe me."

Dr. Grumpy: "Did you..."

Mrs. Folger: "Anyway, after I got there, the barista called 911. She wouldn't even let me order."

8 comments:

Randallw said...

Addiction like this is why I don’t drink coffee. The phrase “I’m not myself in the morning until I’ve had my coffee” infuriates me.

bobbie said...

Ya can't cure stoopid!

Anonymous said...

I've had a longstanding rule: if you are asking yourself if you should get something checked, the answer is not only "yes" but "why in hell aren't you there yet". The trouble with that rule is that one must ask.

After 50 years, I've concluded that denial is the leading cause of morbidity; ignorance is almost certainly second.

The Immortal Jinotega said...

"Turns out that I accidentally made decaf."

Anonymous said...

Anonymous@9:53 AM: Your rule doesn't work for hypochondriacs.

Packer said...

They recognize the subtle differences at Starbucks

Ms. Donna said...

Well, I did drive myself to the hospital with a stroke. Knew somenting was wrong, but didn't want the fuss of EMTs.

Unknown said...

How about the fuss of killing someone if you had another stroke while driving?

 
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