Thursday, March 5, 2020

Department of Redundancy Department

Seen in a chart, in a section about a patient's fluid intake:


Packer said...

You know that America runs on Dunkin

Anonymous said...

Someone gets paid by the letter?

Anonymous said...

2.45 GHz

REM said...

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

Anonymous said...

Saw-palmetto, eh? How is that working for you?

No beer? Eh, how many cups was that, Kenneth? Two. Was it black, half and half or espresso? From Dunkin' Donuts? Oh. You said two? What size were the cups?

Did you say 'plenty' of water? How much water is plenty? How do you measure 'plenty'? What's your best estimation of plenty? How much water? That much? You, don't say! Was it hot? Cold? Frozen?

Was it fresh from the tap? How long did it run from the tap? Not tap water? Bottled water? What kind? Which brand? Was it in a BPA-free bottle? Save yourself a passel of money and the planet with stainless steel, fill-it-up yourself, at 2,000% less cost, that's after the price of the Thermos bottle.

Okay. Well, then!

What was the frequency, Kenneth? Frequency. Frequency. The water bottle is not BPH-free you know. We need to know frequency. 2.45 GHz? FM not AM. If we don't know the color, osmolarity or specific gravity, we must have the frequency!

You've told us how much water went in. We know you had two cups of coffee.

And, now, you think it's the water that causes the frequency and not the caffeine? Nor, the theophylline, quinic acid, dimethyl disulfide, trigonelline, acrylamide, acetylmethylcarbinol. Probably not the putrescine.

Well, then, let's just use this urinal next time you go. Here's a notepad and pencil. Make an 'x' every time you go. Don't dump it in the toilet until it is measured. Please. We must have the frequency.

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