Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Casa De Mentia

Jack is a nice guy, unfortunately now progressing through Alzheimer's disease. Although his cognition is shot, his baseline friendly personality has stayed with him. He's always accompanied by his doting daughter, Susan, and yesterday there was a guy with them I hadn't previously met.

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi Jack, hey Susan. Have a seat. Hi, sir. I don't think we've met. Are you Jack's son?"

Guy: "No, I'm, uh, actually a tax auditor."

Dr. Grumpy: "A tax auditor?"

Susan: "Yes, I asked him to come with us today. He's auditing our taxes."

Guy: "They asked me to come today. I don't normally go to doctor appointments with people. Actually, this is a first."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's going on?"

Susan: "Apparently there's an issue with our taxes. Can you explain?"

Jack: "Hi, Dr. Gravy."

Susan: "It's Dr. Grumpy, Dad."

Guy: "I was sent to audit their taxes because of errors that were, incredulous, to say the least, and my department was concerned about fraud, but when I got there I found that..."

Susan: "Me and Larry have been letting Dad do our taxes."

Dr. Grumpy: "WHAT? You mean, recently?"

Susan: "Yes, ever since we got married 35 years ago. He's always done them."

Dr. Grumpy: "Jack, have you been doing their taxes?"

Jack: "Are we going to be done here before the Cubs game starts?"

Susan: "Daddy, it's football season."

Dr. Grumpy: "Wait... Susan, you let your Dad, who we've done all kinds of paperwork and POA and legal forms on for his Alzheimer's disease, DO YOUR TAXES?!!!'

Susan: "I asked him if he'd still be able to do them, and he said yes."

Jack: "I'm a CPA. Last week I was named to the top 10 CPA's in Bayonne."

Susan: "Daddy, you've been retired for 15 years."

Jack: "Is the Cubs' game on tonight?"

Guy: "Excuse me, doctor, but just to make sure, is this man mentally capable of doing income taxes?"

Dr. Grumpy: "NO. Absolutely not. Do you need me to put in writing?"

Guy: "Please."

Susan: "Dr. Grumpy, I have a question?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes?"

Susan: "Do you know a good accountant?"


Michael P said...

but did they get a good return?

Moose said...

Rule One: People are idjits.

(Rule Two: and you can sell them anything.)

One of my 'favorite' parts of dementia is answering the same questions over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Hey, what time's the Cub's game?

Anonymous said...

Oh Lawdy!

OMDG said...

This kinda sounds like when my dad continued to have my mom manage the family finances after she had four fairly massive brain procedures. She insisted she could do it (obviously she lacks insight), and my dad was afraid of doing it himself. Now it barely gets done at all since my father is bad managing money. No, he won’t let me do it either because he is afraid I will steal from him. Joy.

Ms. Donna said...

Moose, exactly right.

gloriap said...

Susan: "I know Dad has been retired as a CPA fifteen years and has been a little flaky lately, but he gives us a good discount for tax prep."

Reds Kevin said...

What is Craig's degree in? Maybe you can get him to do some "community service".

Orli said...

Did you think to check Susan for early-onset Alzheimer’s? It can be hereditary and that is...not good insight and poor judgement to say the least.

Anonymous said...

OK, it has taken 15 to 35 years for the IRS to notice this scam. I am sensing a business opportunity for Dr. G ....selling Yak futures! Buy a Yak for 50 g's and depreciate it over 3 years...like who's to know? I don't think that there is a blue book for Yaks. With Jack doing all of the paperwork they will never figure it out !

Anonymous said...

"Oh, well, if you're not doing our taxes anymore, it will just give you more time to concentrate on being an Uber driver."

Anonymous said...

Let he/she/they who has never claimed eleventy-zillion-and-infinity exemptions cast the first stone.

Anonymous said...

"Patient presents symptoms of ataxia."

Packer said...

Next they will want to take the car keys away. It is an act of love to not want to totally strip a parent of dignity . Yesterday at age 69 I climbed up on the roof to cement the chimney where we had a leak last week.

Packer said...

Act of love to not want to strip a parent of their dignity. But don't have to mail it in. Just file it in the round file and go to H&R.

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