Thursday, October 8, 2015

Summer vacation, day 14

Heading back to San Francisco.

We were woken this morning by Marie, frantically texting us from the kids' cabin next door. Craig had gone to get hot chocolate, and Frank, as usual, was passed out and unarousable. So she texted me.

They'd apparently gotten in late from the teen club, and she'd fallen asleep in her dress. While tossing and turning during the night, the dress had gotten wrapped around part of the metal bedframe, trapping her. And she really had to pee.

Unable to alert Frank, she used her phone to get help. I answered her the only way I could think of.

This morning, while scrolling through the day's activities on my phone, I saw this:

"I had no idea they had a Wiimote fleshlight attachment"

That sort of wording certainly gets your attention. Frank was horribly disappointed when he went to watch, only to find it was some octogenarians playing Wii tennis.

Someone was having a private party, and staff were wheeling trays of food from the kitchen to their suite. I saw this interesting item go by:

"Um, balls?"

I have to say, one really nice thing about this cruise line at dinner is that they don’t have the waiters doing a musical number every night. This is one of my pet peeves. If I want singing and dancing waitstaff, I’ll go to a restaurant that has them. But I don’t. So I’m glad that this line, unlike Carnival, doesn’t do that (NOTE: they did it on the very last night of the cruise, after I wrote this. But I can live with once).

After dinner, Mom, Frank, and I went to hold seats  for the evening's show. As we worked our way down a row the ship began rocking, and Mom grabbed the back of a chair to steady herself. To her horror there was a loud "CRACK" and the wooden decorative piece over the back of the chair came loose in her hand.

So there we were, with Mom (not knowing her own strength) holding the broken-off back of the chair and surprised people staring at us. She quickly set the back of the chair on the floor behind it and moved on, trying to act like nothing had happened. This wasn't easy, because as she did so "Amish Paradise" started blasting from Frank's back pocket.

"What's this on our room charges for a new theater chair?"


Anonymous said...

Hey, "Octogenarians playing Wii tennis" is one of the most popular categories on PornHub.

clairesmum said...

Poor embarrassing! I must say I have enjoyed the Grumpy family cruise, from the comfort of my own couch. Thanks for sharing.

Ms. Donna said...

Thanks for the laughs.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. This laugh starts deep in the abdominal cavity and so quickly makes itself up past the rib cage that I nearly choked. I know that they get out alive, but worse for wear?

Just Me said...

At least Siri didn't point out directions to find a new handyman!

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