Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Finders keepers

Mary: “Dr. Grumpy’s office, this is Mary.”

Miss Presson: “Hi, this is Lee Presson, I had an appointment with Dr. Grumpy about an hour ago.”

Mary: “Sure. What’s up?”

Miss Presson: “Did you guys find one of my fingernails?”

Mary: “Um… No… You lost a fingernail?”

Miss Presson: “Yeah. I put on a fake set this morning that I got at Cheapshit Chic. And one is missing. I think I last saw it in your lobby. They have, like, leopard spots on them.”

Mary: “Well, I haven’t seen one…”

Miss Presson: “Can you please look?”

Mary: “Okay… Hang on, let me put you on hold.”

Mary walks out to the lobby, and, I swear, finds the fingernail.

Mary: “All right, I have it. It’s stuck to the cover of this week’s People magazine.”

Miss Presson: “Great, I’ll be by in about 10 minutes. Will you hold it for me?”

Mary: “You’re coming back to get a fake fingernail?”

Miss Presson: “Yeah, I’m meeting a blind date for lunch. I don’t want him to think there’s something wrong with me that I only have 9 fingernails.”

Mary: “Okay... It’s here up front. In fact, you can take the magazine attached to it, too.”

Miss Presson: “Thanks. Hey, do you guys have any super glue?"


bunkywise said...

In the field of medicine, I am sure this is minor on the squeamish scale but I find it pretty disgusting. Not sure why, either. Band-aids are infinitely worse.

Anonymous said...

Hey, at least she was nice! And working at the vet, I've definitely seen worse things in our lobby.

Anonymous said...

Thank God she didn't ask Mary to find her missing prosthetic eye in the lobby.

stacey said...

Looks like Mary Nailed this one!

Whelk Lad! said...

"The first thing my OkCupid profile says is that I have ten fingernails, so this is kind of important."

Packer said...

Yay Stacy, comment of the week.

Prince said...

It makes you wonder what she was doing in the doctor's lobby with that magazine.

Luckymom22 said...

I'm a little disgusted; but the things is, if I were to every try dating again...this could totally be me.

Candi said...

At least Ms. Presson was polite about the situation. Also, Mary has very sharp eyes.

bobbie said...

Stacy wins today's gold star!!!

Anonymous said...

My first car was a lebaron. A two-door with a landau roof. The thing was a tank. I drove home once in a snowstorm; cars off both sides of the expressway and in the median. Chaos everywhere. My trusty lebaron plowed right through.

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