Monday, February 16, 2009

How Thick Is Your Skull?

Yes, it was another wild weekend on call.

Highlight was a 20-something guy I saw for a head injury. Get this, Grumpy fans:

He had a fight with his girlfriend outside a restaurant and said he was going to teach her a lesson.

So he began repeatedly banging HIS head against the concrete sidewalk until he was covered with blood. At that point the police and paramedics pulled up, and so he began banging his head repeatedly on the police car's windshield until he shattered it

He then went back to beating his head on the sidewalk, which continued until the cops tasered him and the paramedics gave him a dose of Valium.

The admitting diagnosis was "Self Assault"

Exactly what lesson his girlfriend learned from this is unclear, but I suspect it had something to do with getting a better boyfriend.


modesty press said...

My wife and I are both fond of chickadees. Chickadees often repeat the same mate year after year (though they are known to "cheat").

One naturalist saw the male build a nest on a light pole instead of a tree. The next year the previous year's girl friend had a new boyfriend. Not as bad as your example, but what can you expect from a bird brain.

Anonymous said...

Well, that will show her now won't it. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid some people can be. He obviously didn't have much for sense any way, maybe the head pounding knocked some sense into him,

Anonymous said...

Reading this blog for years--I started reading as a medical student, now I'm an all-important attending who frequently seeks the counsel of attender attendings. I'm currently on a very boring yet lucrative locums assignment so I started re-reading. As a psychiatrist, the person in this post likely has a Cluster B personality disorder -- for non mental health people that means a dysfunctional as fuck, leave me alone I'm lonely, I can't be pleased, maybe I'm the Rum Tum Tugger, I am programed to mash on all of your buttons. I, personally, seem to be a beacon for these people in my practice--my attendings in residency would just throw their hands up and laugh. They often get misdiagnosed as bipolar or schizophrenics because they just do the craziest shit. When their only severely irritating shit stops having its effect they often resort to serious attention seeking behavior, like this delightful meshugana, or worse, THE DREADED SWALLOWER. If I haven't bored you yet, I can regain you with tales of one patient who has been admitted for swallowing over 300 hundred times. Knives (big ones and multiple). vape pens, batteries, scissor blades, razor blades (some wrapped in protective bubble gum), cell phone cases (wtf?), enough utensils to set a state dinner at The White House. I often wonder why they don't do something more constructive with their talent like join the circus...or film the ultimate sequel to Deep Throat...

Thanks for making me laugh and keeping me sane during this batty journey.

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