Doctor Grumpy in the House

Going through some old emails over the weekend, I found this one to my office staff. I wrote it roughly 10 years ago, during a family trip t...

 Seen in a chart:

Pissy and I are talking to a drug rep. "So, doctors, this nasal spray contains batsonshazam, that can be used emergently to stop a seiz...

So today, me, and pretty much every doctor, veterinarian, nurse practitioner, and pharmacist in the country got this email: Apparently the f...

I take my 11:30 patient back to my office. Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, Don, have a seat. How are you doing?" Mr. Epazil: "Sorry if I...

Me, Dr. Pissy, and our combined office staffs are having lunch with a drug rep.   Ms. Pharma: “That covers all the new info about Nomoshaki...

"I was in the ER last weekend for a seizure. They said my Kepdepatrol level was 4. Or maybe it was 8, actually, it could have been 14, ...

 Here's this one, showing the hazards of cut & paste:   Next we have this bit of bullshit, which was, sadly, the entirety of the cha...

And a few weekends ago, due to a computer glitch, every one of them had an inbox that looked like this:

Message left at  6:55 a.m. "Hi, thith ith Mike Thmith. I haf to canthel my appointment wif Dr. Grumpy for thith morning. I wath in a ba...

I've been called down to ER to see a fellow who suffered a stroke while at the local casino. His wife has just arrived. Dr. Grumpy: ...

A reader sent in this picture, where apparently an "out of order" sign just wasn't enough:   Of course, art imitates life, and...

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have any other health issues?" Mr. Toss: "On January 14, 1999, I threw up in a Taco Bell bathroom, but ot...

Dr. Grumpy: "Have you had any surgeries, sir?" Mr. Plumbum: "Yeah, I got shot, and they had to take out the bullet." Dr....