Wednesday, May 23, 2018


Mrs. Whiney was not happy.

She'd shown up 45 minutes late for her new patient appointment with no other explanation than "I have other things to do too, you know!"

Now she was not accepting that I wasn't going to see her and she'd have to reschedule for the next available slot, 2 weeks from now (and I thought I was being nice by letting her do that).

She'd berated Pissy's staff, who'd gotten Mary.

She'd been chewing out Mary, who'd finally walked away from the window and called me out from a patient room.

She was absolutely stunned when I told her I agreed with Mary, and she wasn't going to be seen today.

In an attempt to get me to give in she menacingly said "I. Want. You. To. Know. That. I'm. Calling. Dr. Stevens. And. Telling. Him. You. Treat. His. Patients. Like. This."

I smiled and wished her a good day. She pulled out her phone, knocked on the window, and asked if we could give her Dr. Steven's phone number. We ignored her.

Now it was time for her to make a scene for the rest of the lobby. And she made the critical mistake of getting her phone involved.

Mrs. Whiney: "Siri! Call Dr. Stevens!”

Siri: “There is no Dr. Stevens in your contact list.”


Siri: “Now playing 'Right Here Right Now' by Jesus Jones." (music starts)

Some elderly guy in my lobby and the drug rep he's never met before next to him start holding each other to keep from cracking up.


Siri: “There is a chiropractor 1/2 mile north of you. Would you like directions?"

Drug rep starts snorting loudly and runs out of office, mumbling something about allergies.

Mrs. Whiney: “SIRI! CALL DR. STEVENS!”

Siri: “I found 3 pharmacies within two miles. Would you like me to call one of them?"

Mrs. Whiney throws her phone on the ground, picks it up, shoves it in her purse and yells "IT"S NOT FUNNY!" She storms out.

A few seconds passed before everyone in the office and lobby completely lost it and became hysterical. Including the patient who'd wandered out of my office to see why I hadn't returned.


Astrolabe Silverwax said...

"Siri! Call Samsung and tell them I'm never buying another one of their Android phones again!"

Andy Syms said...


Ibee, where do you find them???

bobbie said...

I'm with Andy!!

Packer said...

Imperious syndrome, lot of that going around, only cure it seems is to have your ass kissed multiple times per day. Problem is there are fewer people willing to administer the dose.

Christy said...

I would pay good money to have seen that-

Ms. Donna said...


Anonymous said...

Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world...

A. Marie said...

If only it had been possible to capture this sequence on video, it would have gone viral by now. Splattering my laptop with beverages once again...

Anonymous said...

When people pull the entitlement card like your patient, it makes me wonder how they came to the belief system that their behavior was appropriate. Do they treat everyone like that? Or, maybe, they do treat everyone equally shabbily? I certainly would not want my child in her first-grade class if ... .

Anonymous said...

Bet you can hardly wait for her appointment with you in 2 weeks!

Anonymous said...

That's awesome........

Ranvaig said...

I would not want to be her child's first grade teacher. Or her child for that matter.

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