Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Voice: "Hi, this is Candy Furuncle, I see you for epilepsy? I'm on Fluximoo, I think 400mg each night?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes?"
Voice: "Anyway, I've got this huge boil on my left butt cheek. What am I supposed to do about it?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Call your internist. This isn't my field."
Voice: "Can you give me a hint? Like dig it out with a nail clippers or something?"
Dr. Grumpy: "No. Call your internist."
Voice: "What if he's sleeping?"
6 comments:
"Sorry, Dr. Grumpy, but I can never wake up Dr. Sleepy, and Dr. Bashful never returns my pages. Maybe I'll try Dr. Sneezy- he's always wide awake no matter what hour it is. Hopefully that will hold me until I can get some more pain meds from Dr. Dopey."
So sorry, Dr. G. Working night shift at local hospital, we sometimes got calls from worry-warts at 2:00 AM. Transferred from the E.R., the nurse there, sent up calls sometimes like this that so much as had the tiniest reference to a possible medication. I imagine ER was involved in critical matters. We weren't doin' nuttin' honey, just whipping up a STAT fosphenytoin piggyback.
I swear, though.
Had some of the strangest questions. Popular was the one about half-life of marijuana metabolites, especially if there was a job interview or probation hearing coming up.
"Call 911."
wait a minute-if the boil is on her butt, shouldn't she call her externist?
If he is asleep put a warm moist compress on it, but call him two or three times to make sure he is asleep.
I guess she was boiling mad at that.
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