Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Wednesday reruns

Last night I was at a dinner meeting for a research company. These things are always held at some swanky overpriced steakhouse.

Dr. Duffel is a local neurologist who drags around the biggest damn purse in the world. It's HUGE, and goes everywhere with her. For years many of us have wondered what's in it: a complete set of every neurology journal ever written? Jimmy Hoffa? an iPhone 87s+?

So last night she came in late to the dinner, and sat down next to me. She put el monstro humungo purse on the floor next to me, so I had to move over a bit.

The meeting dragged on. One slide after another. The occasional cell phone ringing. The speaker droning. Food courses.

At some point I wandered out to stretch and empty myself of biologically-filtered Diet Coke. When I came back and sat down I stepped in a puddle on the floor. I figured someone must have spilled water or something while I was out of the room, and refocused my attention on the speaker.

A minute later a waitress came by to refill my Diet Coke, and stumbled over the giant purse.

And the purse started barking.

The waitress screamed and leaped back, dropping the pitcher on the purse, which only got it snarling at her.

Dr. Duffel jumped up, grabbed her cell phone (which hadn't rung), mumbled "I have to answer this outside" and dragged her growling purse out of the room. I'm pretty sure it wasn't her ringtone.

She never came back.

I rinsed off my shoes when I got home.


Anonymous said...

It's a doggie bag!

Packer said...

Ruff one Anon @7:10 winning the internet for the day at that early hour.

Loved it had me laughing early so no bone to pick. I believe the are now de rigueur as I saw a couple loading a German Shorthaired Pointer into a shopping cart and going into Home Depot. I think he was picking out appliances for them.

Before I flea this thread, I hope to see many puns through out the day.
Fukashima radiation is affecting everyone.

Jono said...

I once saw a little old lady with a small dog in her purse arguing with seven security agents in Keflavik (Iceland). I doubt that she won.

Moose said...

You know, your link at the top reminded me -- you never talk about the tomatoes anymore. Has Mrs School Nurse Grumpy gone off her tomato fetish?

Randallw said...

Rich men's wives and young Paris wannabes I can understand, but it's hard to think a serious professional like a neurologist would have a little purse dog.

Anonymous said...

Think what life must be like as a purse dog. In the dark. Unable to move around. Unable to see and smell anything new. Unable to get a drink of water. The story IS hilarious, but there's one small problem: it's cruelty to animals.

Tarquin "R.J." Toffeebridge V said...

"I'm just a kangaroo trapped in a human's body."

A. Marie said...

On the one hand, I'm LMAO, as usual. On the other hand, I second what Anon "Think what life must be like as a purse dog" said. Not only do I not blame the poor dog for making a puddle on the floor (although I'm sorry Dr. G had to step in it), I hope the dog bit its owner on the way out of the purse.

Geno said...

That was the latest handbag from Kors costing $7,295 at Costco that includes a motion activated bark alarm to deter thieves from stealing the real expensive KalCan from her purse. It worked pretty well huh?

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