Monday, May 15, 2017

Sunday night

It's 11:18 p.m. I'm fast asleep, and my phone rings.

Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"

Dr. Brain: "Hi, Ibee? It's me."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"

Dr. Brain: "I couldn't sleep, so I'm reading the new issue of 'Journal of Obscure Neurological Diseases of Burkina Faso.' Have you looked at this months?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, it's 11:30 at night and I was..."

Dr. Brain: "They're COMPLETELY changing the diagnostic criteria for Fleaglehart's Syndrome! I disagree with the entire thing. I mean, now they're considering visual changes to be helpful, but not diagnostic, of the disorder. They're increasing the importance of mental status changes, and now there are more than the 2-3 standard MRI findings we're used to."

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh..."

Dr. Brain: "This is RIDICULOUS! I mean, how many cases of Fleaglehart's Syndrome have you seen that would fit this new criteria?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Look. It's 11:30 at night, you woke me up, and honestly I've never seen a case of it."

Dr. Brain. "Really? Neither have I. Okay. Have a good night."


Tarquin "R.J." Toffeebridge V said...

"But I'm so worked up about this that I don't think I'll be able to get to sleep at all tonight, and frankly I'm amazed that you think you will."

Anonymous said...

"I just knew that those administrative changes at Ouagadougou Central Hospital were bad news from the moment they announced them."

Anonymous said...

"I still haven't gotten over the fact that they changed the name of the country from 'Upper Volta.'"

Anonymous said...

"This is only the first sign. The prophecy is coming true."

Anonymous said...

You'll probably see your first case next week.

bobbie said...

At last ~ someone you can send your wackier pts. to!!
T'would serve him right!!

Moose said...

Wasn't Fleaglehart on of the Banana Splits?

Tra la la, la-la-la la.
Tra la la, la-la-la la.

Anonymous said...

"Every year, I think, this is the year I'll finally catch a case of Fleaglehart's Syndrome, and my collection will be complete. Every year. And every year, without fail, they move the goalposts. Again. Why do I keep getting my hopes up? Why do I even bother getting up in the morning?"

Ms. Donna said...

Anon 10:46 beat me to it.

Anonymous said...

Is there a grandfather clause?

Packer said...

Dr. Brain has a bad case of Sunday night anxiety, the fear of facing Monday morning keeps him awake, just like millions of other Americans. My wife resents the fact that I can go out in 3 to 4 seconds (read that right) seconds, even on Sunday night.
I think you as a BBF should be counseling therapy for Brain. I think you ought to be dropping little shame about the Brain's anxiety disorder around the Drs. Lounge and you should be making asides about your fears that he is close to snapping. I think the entire hospital staff should take a personal interest in closely observing his behavior.

Mage said...

Thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

One of my colleagues has got to be Dr. Brain's twin. Zebras everywhere.

Candi said...

Dude. Email. Really. >.<

Locations of visitors to this page