I'm sure you remember it. If you don't, you haven't had it... yet.
We all have one. Where the person who seemed promising turned out to be a nightmare. Or a series of bizarrely improbable circumstances arose to make it a miserable time. Or some other chain of unpleasant events.
Somewhere out there is a woman for whom I was her worst date ever. I'm sure that even today, 25+ years later, she remembers it and tells others about the horrible time she had with me.
During my first year of residency I asked a nurse out, and we decided to go hiking. I chose a scenic trail outside town that went in and out of a forested area.
I picked her up in the early afternoon of a clear day, and off we went. It was nice drive to the trail head.
We'd hiked about 30-45 minutes when we came to a fork, and took the one to head back to the parking lot. Which led to another fork, and we again picked the one that should have taken us back to the car.
After another 30 minutes we realized we'd gotten completely lost, and had NFC where to go (back then, kids, people didn't have GPS phones).
Then it began raining. Heavily. Of course, the umbrella was back in the car.
We turned back, hoping to reach the parking lot at some point. Noticing the forest road about a 1/4 mile away, we walked through mud to get to it, figuring it was more likely to lead us in the right direction.
It wasn't. And it was still raining.
After a while we hitched a ride with the first passing car, which fortunately turned out to be a state parks ranger. He was on his way to close the parking lot we were in, since the rain was flooding the trails.
It was a long, quiet, dripping-wet ride back to her place. I tried to make conversation, but she just stared out the window. She didn't return my calls, either, when I tried to apologize.
And, realistically, I don't blame her.
But whenever someone tells me a story of their worst date ever, I remember that for a lady out there... I am that story.
23 comments:
So that's how you & nurse Grumpy met!
Well, I'm not sure she can blame you. I mean, you both decided to take the turns, you both left the umbrella in the car...it wasn't your fault. Had it been me, I probably would have suggested we dry off and meet for dinner either later that day or the next day. On the first date I had with my husband, the muffler fell off his truck on the NYS Thruway and then he had a flat tire...in the rain. That was 27 years ago and we're still together.
You did the right thing. There are no umbrellas in hiking.
I have had that date with my wife, throw in the yellow jackets, she doesn't hike anymore. But novice hike dates are always good for some print. It was not mine, but 10 years ago I witnessed a date , wherein Mr. Jock took Ms. Couch Potato on the 5 Borough Bike Tour in NYC-40 miles of not too bad riding , with possible exception of climbs on bridges. She wearing hot cut off denim shorts (denim and bikes are a big no no) and at the Queensboro Bridge, mile 10 or so, her nether regions were chaffed by her denim, upper thighs as raw as chopped chuck, she was winded by the climb, her legs were cramped as she was not in condition and she realized there was another 30 miles to go. She laced into him with an expletive filled fullsilade that was Pulp Fictionesque. It was grand. I long wondered if they made it to Staten Island.
Dinner and movie is the only first date. Showing your date that you can't find your ass with both hands by going hiking is not the way.
Unless you had been bragging about your incredible orienteering skills while ignoring her input, I'd say that was a good weed-out date. Who wants to spend a lifetime with someone who gets that pissed off about something like that?
At least you didn't invite someone to a comedy club, proceed to get drunk from the bottle smuggled into the club in your jacket, and then spend the whole sobering up time (because you were the one who drove and public transportation had long since stopped) trying to convince your date to go into the strip clubs which were the only open businesses in the area.
Not sure how she could be upset about that date. you both decided to go hiking and stuff happens on hikes. not really your fault it rained.
I thought walking in the rain was supposed to be romantic?
Unless all along she was telling you the correct trail way to get back to the car, and you were insisting that she was wrong and you were right, and then you didn't even apologize later when you were proven wrong -- THAT is the type of behaviour which would have deserved the silent treatment on the way home.
If you didn't act this way, the failure of the date is actually on her -- she was the one who was unreasonable if she blamed you for not being perfect. So its actually lucky that you both discovered your incompatibility earlier rather than later -- win-win.
I remember the rainy day experiences as a kid, so by the time I was old enough to go on a date, that wasn't the scenario.
The memorable unsuccessful dates with my future husband involved meeting him at certain time and place, because he had trouble with location and directional words in English, and we both set our watches ahead a few minutes, and knew it about each other, but sometimes forgot to wind them or replace a battery. We lived in residence halls facing each other on the top floor, so at least we got that part right, but the days of no cell-phones 40 years ago, and clocks that were not synchronized made for some funny situations until we got a few details worked out.
Perfect timing. I can leave my story now. Because it's nothing to do with what you just wrote. But it's everything to do with what you write again and again. Last July I lost my husband. I sat with him for a week while he died. Hadn't seen your website in a month or two. OK. Now it's 6 months later and the other day I thought, Oh, hey, Dr. Grumpy. I went back and - laughed my head off. Laughed until I cried. Nearly fell off my chair multiple times. When I got back to normal I thought, heck, that's the first time I've belly laughed since Peter died. And I kind of woke up. So - thank you! You brought me back to life and laughter. I think that evens the score with your hiking date (she might not think so, but in the overall scheme it still might).
I finally agreed to go out with a guy that I went to high school with. It was weird that he picked me up driving someone else's car. And he had a dark green quart bottle that he was drinking from. Driving along, a cop passed us going the opposite direction, but as we went by, the cop quickly turned around and hit the lights and siren. Mr. First Date quickly turned down a side street and threw the bottle out the driver's side window. Except....he forgot to roll the window down and now we were both covered in glass and liquor. The cop wasn't after us and it was a very, very quiet ride straight back to my house. We never spoke to each other again.
Christine Cortese is positive proof of the miraculous healing powers of I.B. Grumpy, MD!
Reading your bad experience date made me recall mine (my date ditched me five minutes after we sat down at the restaurant table). Your first date hiking could have been much worse - at least your date wasn't mauled by a mountain lion or a bear.
Ha. Ever have a date go so bad you bailed out of a moving car? Didn't think so!
@Theresa B: You call it a "weed-out date." In my circle, we call it "The Space Jam Test."
Tell your date that you want to watch Space Jam.
What is his reaction?
10/10 would recommend for anyone in the dating pool.
Um, so what is the correct answer to the space jam test? I'd have been inclined to say "Oh, OK" if it was a girl I was interested in. Though I've never seen it, I'm guessing I've seen films I hated a lot more than I'd hate a weak animation comedy with dates in the past.
A friend insisted that I go on a double date with her and her boyfriend. The boyfriend's friend (ostensibly my date) sat silently all through dinner while the rest of us made awkward conversation around him. When my friend and I were about to pull out of the parking lot to go home, the guy ran up to my window to ask for my phone number. Um, no. Just... no.
Not actually my worst date, but it sure wasn't my best. That ranks about with my first date with my now-husband (whom I knew was THE ONE as soon as we met so I was super excited about going on a date with him) and someone else invited herself along. This lady turned around from the row in front of us at church and said, "Oh, you're going to Old Chicago? I love that place! Are we leaving now?" Who does that?!?
Went on a dinner date with a cop. Spent the drive to the restaurant and back re-tracing high speed pursuits and pointing out locations of homicide victims.
@Tass: What else is there to talk about? :)
@Tass, @Officer Cynical: Yeah, that's a hazard with every profession. When I was a veterinarian typical mealtime arguments included "which is more satisfying to fix: pus or maggots?" and "most inappropriate client behavior in an exam room". Meanwhile, on the engineering side, I've worked with an awful lot of people who cannot stop themselves from giving a guided tour of all of the cellular sites they've installed/fixed/etc in the area. I'd actually be interested in the chase & homicide info. Where else are you going to learn that sort of thing?
you were lucky ... my nephew went for a short hike in the Shenandoah, got turned around and had to spend the night out in the open, under a clump of bushes. His co-workers got him a compass for a birthday present LOL (Compasses only help when you know what direction the parking lot is in - no good otherwise)
On one of our first dates my boyfriend (now husband) and I were going to go to a planetarium show at the Golden Gate Park museum in San Francisco, as we both lived in the area. He'd told me he thought he was coming down with a cold, so he'd taken some cold medicine. While we were in the planetarium waiting for the crowd to finish filtering in he fell asleep. I let him doze until the show started, then woke him up. We look back on that now, and laugh. He's a good guy, and we've been married almost 19 years.
That doesn't sound so bad, personally.
My 'worst date' wasn't really BAD in the classic sense. Just weird. I was in college and chatted with a guy on-line, who wanted to take me out to dinner. We had never met face-to-face. I was about 18 years old, he was a little older (maybe 24?). So, we went out to eat, and he seemed to have exactly 2 topics of conversation that he rotated. "You are so skinny! You need to eat more! Order anything, order more food, you can take what you don;t eat home with you!" and "You look so young! Are you really 18? I don't want to get arrested!" Finally I pulled out my photo ID to show him my birthdate because it was the ONLY way to get him to shut up, he ordered dessert to go for me, and took me back to my dorm. I never heard from him again.
As others said, unless you overrode her correct instructions, or were a total DB about the situation, it could have been a bonding experience just as much as it was a bad date.
For me, the worst date I ever had was one I bailed out on once it was described to me. Met a guy at a club, he was persistent, and I gave him my number (I was a pretty equal-opportunity dater, at least back then, I always wanted to be open to giving guys a hearing, at least.) On the phone this guy talked about how much he loved Vegas (I'm not a fan), his guns and his truck. Nothing wrong with any of that, but not my style. When he started describing how we'd go to the shooting range for our first date, I bailed.....and had to keep bailing to the point of rudeness.
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