Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Overheard at the nurse's station

"BITCH! You're the worst nurse ever! Get the fuck out of my room! But first, get me more morphine!"

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about "No......"?

BizzyMomma said...

Oh yeah, and HAPPY NURSE'S WEEK! LOL

Anonymous said...

"The worst nurse ever doesn't know where the morphine is. Sorry."

danielle said...

and she is probably the worlds worst nurse because it isnt time for his morphine! been there.....

Packer said...

Sir: I will be back very soon with lots and lots , I mean lots of morphine, don't you worry you will have so much you will never want for more..................heheheheh

Ms. Donna said...

New FDA guidelines say . . . . no MORPHINE FOR YOU!

Or soup, either. Thank you, Seinfeld.

bobbie said...

BTDT...

It doesn't pay to piss off your nurse, dude!

Mystery said...

Sweet neg, dude! You're well on the way to becoming a pickup artist!

Anonymous said...

The idea being that she'll be so rattled that she'll bring him morphine without noticing that he's not actually a patient at the hospital?

Yoko Drāno said...

"I'm here in the hospital because of a repetitive strain injury I sustained from leaving comments on Internet message boards. Why do you ask?"

Anonymous said...

"I'm here in the hospital because the biker gang I buy my drugs from found something objectionable in the manner in which I requested my eight ball. Why do you ask?"

Anonymous said...

Press Ganey is king.

Anonymous said...

"I'm here in the hospital because my skydiving instructor is a complete moron who can't take a little constructive criticism. Why do you ask?"

Yogi said...

There's a wonderful book on raising teenagers called, "Get Out Of My Life, But First Will You Take Me and Cheryl To The Mall?"

Sounds like a teenager there.

Anonymous said...

"I'm here in the hospital because- well, let's just say I'm never eating at Benihana again. Why do you ask?"

Moose said...

Cripes. I've had a few - very few, but a few - bad nurses in my time, but I've always simply asked another nurse, or a nursing assistant, to get the nursing supervisor or floor nurse and ask to be switched nurses.

And when I've screamed for morphine, it generally went: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Along with some begging for someone to just kill me already.

Candida Gomez said...

"Get me more morphine!"

Yeah, unless you're dying, there's pretty strict rules about that. So no.

jen said...

yeah, no morphine for you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. My hearing aid went off when I heard someone say a bad word. What were you saying, dear? You need to use the loo? You have a Foley, let me just how that is working for you.

Lil mighty RN said...

Best doctor order ever. No joke. This was an order. " pt is drug seeking, don't call me for more narcotics"

Javahead said...

Our daughter is a pharmacist at a 24 hour pharmacy attached to a major hospital. Every time we talk she has a few more "drug seeking patient" stories.

Including forged prescriptions, "husband/wife stole my medicine" stories, you name it.

Some are funny, in a horrid way. Some are pretty sad.

The saddest, I think, was a doctor (in another system) who tried to forge a prescription using his wife's in-system access. Ended up with an ethics investigation and a suspended license for him. Nearly cost him his marriage and his career.

 
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