Monday, May 16, 2016

Bon appétit!



Like many offices, we have a small dish on the front counter full of generic hard candies (peppermints, butterscotches, Werther's, Jolly Ranchers, etc.).


Lady waiting for her appointment comes up to front counter.


Lady: "Can I have one of these candies?"

Mary: "Sure. Help yourself."

Lady: "Thanks. I didn't have time to get breakfast today."


She picked up THE WHOLE JAR, carried it back to her chair, and in the space of about 5 minutes unwrapped and crunched through about 20 pieces of hard candy.

Then she brought the empty jar back to Mary, full of wrappers.


Lady: "Thanks."

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

She meant one jar of course.

Powers said...

It's not that I don't believe you, Doc, but for my own sanity I'm going to have to just assume this is fiction.

Jono said...

We have had a jar like that for at least 25 years. I have never seen anything behavior like that, but we are not doctors, either. (?)

Anonymous said...

Honestly, what's the difference between that and kids' cereals or Starbucks pastries?

kjax said...

The dentist I go to has one of those little ovens that bakes cookies. One day as I was waiting for my appointment, a lady came in and checked in. Before she sat down, she went over to the cookie plate and upended the entire thing into her purse. She then sat down and picked up a magazine and started flipping through it. A few minutes later, a little boy came out of the back and we could hear the hygienist or his mother or someone say "you did so well, now you can have a cookie." Except, of course, there weren't any. The receptionist came out and looked at the plate and looked at us and looked at the plate again. The lady never once looked up from her magazine, just kept flipping through the pages and swinging her leg. The little boy was crushed. He wanted a cookie, they said he could! The receptionist said she would make some more up but it would take a few minutes. The mother said they couldn't wait but she would get him something.

Later, I told the receptionist what had happened and she said she knew, the lady had done that before.

Anonymous said...

Note to self: Stop making that "thanks for breakfast, heh heh heh" comment when taking candy. Even if it's true.

Mari-Ann said...

I have that condition where loud, crunching sounds make me crazy so I'm afraid I would have had to do something real awful to her. Ice chewing makes me homicidal and this would have been right up there with it. LOVED the cookie story, too!

HeroHog said...

Re Cookie Monster "Lady": Her bill would have an added charge each time she came in were she my patient!

Anonymous said...

Probably seeing you for her diabetic neurpopathy

Packer said...

Apparently she does not know that Mc Donald's is not serving breakfast all day.

Crazy RxMan said...

I'd bet $1,000 the candy and cookie lady are Medicaid patients...

CandiNP said...

Every office I have worked in has patient's who steal EVERYTHING. Mostly we learned who we had to hide everything, move it or lock it all up. From pens to bandaids to pamphlets to candy.

bobbie said...

Yet another raise for Mary, please!!!

Ms. Donna said...

did you get a glucose tolerance test on her?

Anonymous said...

Did you check the toilet paper? We find a lot of it walks out the door.

Yoko Drāno said...

"Oh, and have you got any of those little airplane bottles of vodka handy?"

Anonymous said...

Bet she's tired in a couple hours after all that sugar. We had a container of sugar candy like that in the house and eventually it went into a jar with a lid and set on a shelf to look at, like my mother's first jar of canned carrots. She thought it was so pretty there in a sunny window, and it remained there until the kitchen was remodeled.

As for the lady with the cookies. She may've lost her cookies some time ago. I wonder if she's conducting a little experiment to find out who will ask her why she does it. Personally, I would mind the crumbs in the coin purse.

Anonymous said...

Maybe, instead of candy, you should put out a jar of Egg McMuffins.

Hattie said...

I don't even react to bizarre behavior any more.

Anonymous said...

Do you want diabeetus? Because this is how you get diabeetus.

Pam said...

o.O

Midge said...

Next time put out sugarless candy. The kind that gives you stomach cramps and explosive diarrhea if you eat more than a few pieces.

clairesmum said...

Well, at least she ate it instead of dumping it all in her bag to take home with her!

John said...

When we opened our store, my wife put out those nice paper hand towels in the bathroom. you know, instead of the regular dispenser.WE went through 10 packs on opening day, And more very day for the first week, at which point my wife gave up and put in a regular paper dispenser. 2 days later, a lady (nicely dressed, lots of jewelry: this was Stanford CT, and there were plenty of people of means) asked why we had changed the paper towels in the bathroom. When my wife told, her, she looked sad and said that her friends had told her to come get some at our store, because they were so nice and you didn't have to pay for them. And do we have any more? She was having a party that night.

Old RPh said...

Thank God. About time that jar was cleaned out. Those candys on the bottom were getting pretty nasty.

Old Fool said...

At least she did not throw the candy wrappers on the floor.

Candida Gomez said...

@John: That was just disgusting. Total Not Always Right story.

I hope if you did have any, the response was 'They are $X for #."

Stories like these are why I get shocked looks when I ask, "May I take extra for my kids?" and when I get a yes (always), I only take three. It's just sad. :(

I remember years ago when I went in for a job interview, I took one candy from the dish upon the receptionist's offer. After I sat down, another person came in, checked in, and then shoveled several large handfuls into his pants pockets, to the point the weight actually dragged his pants down. (It was a large bowl.)

The receptionist got a certain long-suffering look on her face that many here would likely recognize due to the actions of others they have witnessed, and refilled the dish. From a bag in a locked cabinet.


charles said...

"Hard candies . . . crunched through . . . in ten minutes"

Is her next doctor's appointment at the dentist?

Pillboy said...

Wether's and Jolly Ranchers and not "generic hard candies", they are brand name, like Neurontin and Depakote.

C said...

needed a glucose drip upon arrival

 
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