Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Just another manic Monday

Mrs. Fennec called, asking for an urgent appointment. Mary had an afternoon slot open, and put her in.

She came in with her dog. This isn't uncommon in my practice, so I didn't think much of it.


Dr. Grumpy: "So what's going on? Mary said you had an emergency?"

Mrs. Fennec: "Yes! Fluffy ate my bottle of Strokoxx!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, are you okay?"

Mrs. Fennec: "I'm fine! But what should we do about Fluffy?!!!"


(I look at Fluffy. He looks at me and cocks an ear to the side.)


Dr. Grumpy: "Well, you should take him to your vet to get this checked out."

Mrs. Fennec: "BUT YOU'RE THE ONE PRESCRIBING THE STROKOXX!!!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, but I have no idea what it does to dogs. Or how to handle it. Or much about dogs at all. Who's your vet? Why don't I call and tell them what's going on, and you can head over there..."

Mrs. Fennec: "It's YOUR medication. You prescribed it! So you should be handling any issues it causes."

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, yes, as far as people go. But not dogs."

Mrs. Fennec: "You're refusing to treat Fluffy because he doesn't have insurance!"

Dr. Grumpy: "This has nothing to do with money. I'm not a veterinarian. You need to take him to someone who knows what to do for him."

Mrs. Fennec: "This is ALL YOUR FAULT, and I'm going to send you the vet's bill!"

(She got up and stomped out. Fluffy, I swear, looked back and winked at me.)


21 comments:

Deborah Brett said...

She asked for treatment, you referred her to a specialist treatment center. I'm not seeing a problem here. Except lack of common sense.
Who the F*ck takes their dog to a neurologist instead of a vet?
Another psych referral here grumpy?

Anonymous said...

Whatever she was taking the Strokoxx for, she needs a much stronger prescription...

Unknown said...

Not directly relevant but here in the UK, it is illegal for anyone other than a vet to treat an animal but anyone can treat a human.

Anonymous said...

Guess you're the unlucky one. She could've taken Poochy-face to the pharmacy.

Anonymous said...

You've got to love those winking canines. My neighbor had a small, little (two similar descriptors because it was a small sort of mixed-breed) with a wicked overbite and crooked teeth and those canines jutting up like a mouthful of teeth, and whenever he looked at you, you couldn't help grin because he looked so hilariously pleased to see you, as if he was smiling from the tip of his toes.

Anonymous said...

Evidently, Fluffy has been taking Mrs Fennec's smart pills. And from the sound of it, it seems like this has been going on for quite some time.

Anonymous said...

Glad I'm not in the UK. I'm in vet med because humans are gross. I've had too many people show me lesions, scabs, bite wounds, and one memorable full moon to show me the bruise on her ass from tripping over the dog. Kind of comforting in an odd way that human physicians are asked to treat animals inappropriately too.

Anonymous said...

Alternative response: Look, I'll be honest. The government won't let me treat your dog. Stupid bureaucracy requires a separate license for it.

Packer said...

Dogs can eat an amazing assortment of stuff and still live. I have a neighbor with a Golden Retriever that has eaten a towel , socks, and underwear and still survives.. So never leave your meds where your dog or your kids can get at it.

ELISSA HOCK said...

Nice name for a drug. (wink)

Anonymous said...

Lucky for you the Strokoxx didn't get into the engine of her Ferrari.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, Mrs. Fennec- soon, all pets will be covered under BoCare.

Anonymous said...

Not to come to a snap judgment, but the whole idea gives me pause, she is barking up the wrong tree and this tale seems to dog my every thought. C'mon folks I have a bone to pick with your guys for not taking the low road here.

Stacey Gordon said...

My dog can wink and smile. But it's more of a smirk and she's always right!
She's an Australian Shepherd which means she's generally smarter than most people.

Anonymous said...

"Teacher, the dog ate my homework. And I'm holding you responsible for assigning it."

Anonymous said...

Maybe Fluffy was attempting suicide to get away from his stupid owner.

Pedro de Pacas said...

She should just follow the dog around with a Baggie for about three days.

Anonymous said...

You just can't make this shit up!

Hope the Grumpy Family has a nice Passover!

Anonymous said...

"The room was dark and I thought I was giving him his Viagra."

evodevo said...

Are you ever tempted to just say, "What? Are you NUTS?!!" to these people? I work for the Post Office, and I know I am tempted every day LOL!

Azuran Zarra said...

The reminds me of the man who called up at my vet clinic because his son apparently got bit by a bear. (That's what he said, I have no idea how that happened) And then got mad when we told him we could not treat his son and that he should take him to see a human doctor.

 
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