Thursday, February 18, 2016

The front line

Me and Pissy's office building has been remodeling the public bathrooms on each floor. This involves closing one and making the other a unisex john for a few days, then switching them off, then moving to the next floor.

This week they got to our floor and taped up their little "Unisex Restroom" and "Under construction" signs while they tore out old tile and fixtures. Honestly, I don't understand this. As long as a public bathroom is reasonably clean, most people don't care about the tiles or paintings. This is a medical office building, not the Waldorf-Astoria. Besides, each one just has a toilet and a sink, and the door locks. They're freakin' identical.

Anyway. Cut to day 3 of our floor's construction project:


Guy walks in, stands at counter.

Mary: "Can I help you sir? Do you have an appointment?"

Guy: "What is wrong with you people?"

Mary: "Uh, is there a problem?"

Guy: "YES! I'm tired of people like you, trying to make me think men and women are the same!"

Mary: "What are you talking about? This is a doctor's office."

Guy: "Instead of having separate men's and women's restroom's, you liberal PC types are trying to cram unisex bathrooms down my throat. I'm sick of this trend."

Mary: "Okay, that's not even our bathroom out there. And the sign is just temporary, while they're remodeling them."

Guy: "Oh... "

Mary: "Do you have an appointment with Dr. Grumpy or Dr. Pissy?"

Guy: "No, I just need to use the bathroom."

Leaves

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wait, you didn't ask if he had two, gender-specific bathrooms in his home??? What a missed opportunity.

MBee

Anonymous said...

He's there to see Dr. Pissy, fer sure.

Packer said...

Screw him don't give him the key,. Reminds me of when my neighbor was building his house and he had to cut down some trees on the lot. The lady down the street comes up and starts yelling at my son because his parents are allowing the trees to be cut down. I tell my kid don't worry about it. A few days later she comes up and starts yelling at me because I am allowing the trees to be cut.

I guess I never accepted the mantle of King of the World.

Moose said...

MY and Pissy's. MY MY MY MY. "Me's office building" hasn't been doing anything.

At this point I think you do it on purpose because you know it makes my head explode, and as a neurologist you just want to watch the pieces fly around a room.

Powers said...

I've never understood why single-user public restrooms need to be gendered anyway.

Hildy said...

Prepare for a rent increase justified by the remodeled bathrooms. Users don't care about tiles but landlords care about rent.

Yoko Drāno said...

"It makes the glory holes so confusing!"

Anonymous said...

"And I'm afraid of catching girl cooties from the toilet."

Anonymous said...

"First the liberal PC airlines make all the bathrooms on their planes unisex, and then when you complain about it, the flight attendants subdue you and the airline bans you for life! You can't catch a break anymore!"

Anonymous said...

As someone who once used the empty men's room instead of waiting in the line of 20 outside the women's room, I suggest that we should try a little common sense. If the facilities are private and the door locks, it shouldn't matter who's using which bathroom. Shared facilities are a whole different situation.

bobbie said...

Aren't you glad he wasn't there to see you???

Anonymous said...

Would you believe Indiana tax-payers are still arguing about this? For quite some time, and at least it still is the case in several of our 92 (count 'em) counties, the concept of a heated outhouse was a novelty.

And, we're still kibbitzing about daylight savings time, which I for one never did vote for, in the twenty times it came up for a vote.

So, yeah.

Nancy said...

man, I don't know what that guy's problem was. If it's a one holer, who gives a shit? As someone who is pregnant and prone to UTIs, I actually get pissed when one holers are gender specific. Also, there's a unisex one holer in the mental health building of our hospital. So far, the only problem is that once someone smoked pot in it. We're calling it a win because it wasn't meth.

jbt369 said...

If there is but one toilet and sink behind a lockable door for each room, why are the differentiated by sex in the first place?

Anonymous said...

Exactly~ leave it clean/proper- who cares- I only got one in my house.
I happily use whatever bathroom is empty- waiting for a "sexed" line is stooopid!! Occasionally funny looks from wait line on exit though~ bahaha!
I was recently at an outdoor trade show and there was a couple porta potti*. One was oversize- with a handicapped/women only sign on door.
One lady waiting for friend in one of the other two with occupied signs up... male me- I grinned and entered the 'offlimits' one. I mumbled "not waiting! with a grin" when I passed her- she laughed in reply...

Nooo not the plural police! nooooo.

Anonymous said...

"It's bad enough that you can never tell with hookers these days, speaking of people trying to cram things down my throat."

Anonymous said...

It's really simple- the toilet is for the women, and the sink is for the guys.

Anonymous said...

"Thanks to unisex clothes, I can't even go in my pants anymore."

Renee said...

cleanest public bathroom I've ever used was the men's (single-user) at Joann fabrics. I'm a woman :D

Anonymous said...

Correct. Because "Let's go shopping at the fabric store," said no husband ever.

evodevo said...

What is it with conservative types and "cramming things down the throat"? Projection much?

Anonymous said...

I wish every single-user restroom in the country were marked with the unisex/family placards. I have a very slow to heal foot (as in years), and I can't tell you how many times we have seen the separate markings and so I hobbled to the restroom (on crutches on a bad day) to help my daughter use the "ladies room", only to discover it was a single user restroom, and my husband could have taken her and spared me the foot pain. Also the waiting in line for the "ladies room" when there was an empty single user "mens" room was ridiculous too.

 
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