Friday, November 6, 2015
Quote of the day
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"I saw a surgeon once. He took out my appendix, or maybe my gall bladder. Shoot... It could have been my tonsils... or an ingrown toenail... anyway, you know, it was one of those things."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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23 comments:
Don't you love treating hot dog manufacturers?
Perhaps it was my brain?
I saw a surgeon once. It was in a steakhouse. If he cuts people the way he cut a $50+ piece of prime Kobe beef I'm going to start asking my neurologist if he does hangnails and gallbladders.
stay safe.
Probably an elderly patient . I surmise this from the laid back approach that many elderly people take regarding health issues. They know they have attained the biblical three score plus ten, so little difference does it matter beyond that. I have seen it more than once and they stop paying attention to the things that would send a 50 years to the Doctor.
Or maybe it was a vet and he neutered my dog....
Well, I know a surgeon took out something but I'm not at all sure what.
Admittedly I was pretty small at the time.
"Priceline.com lets you name your own price for surgery, but it doesn't tell you what you're having removed."
"It was late at night, and we were all pretty wasted by that point."
i always tell dr that i only had 1 surgery, and i did not walk for almost a year after the procedure.
it was when i was circumsized as an infant.
Aren't all those body parts interchangeable?
The good: None of those possible surgeries are likely to matter as part of a neurological problem.
The bad: The memory deficit might be part of a neurological problem.
Maybe he got a price break and got them done all at once.
Obviously, it was a lobotomy.
The drawbacks of psychic surgery.
"According to the surgeon, the human body is like a piece of Ikea furniture, where there's always some part left over at the end and you're not sure what it is or where it goes."
"Let's just say that, when it came time to bill the insurance, there was some constructive ambiguity."
"Okay, okay, it was to have a pair of Lalique candlesticks removed from my rectum. There, I said it. Are you happy now?"
"Whatever it was, there's gotta be an easier way to lose weight."
Moral of the story: when you go overseas for medical tourism, don't skimp on hiring a good translator.
"...oh wait, it was the wish-bone, that was it! Now I remember, the wish-bone! The wish-bone was the very last thing the surgeon took out before my nose glowed ridiculously red and there was a hideous screeching buzzer sound."
Ben Carson?
"I'm pretty sure it was something in, near, or around my body??...."
you know, one of the optional body parts!
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