Friday, May 3, 2013

Patient quote of the day

Mr. Eosinophil: "I'm allergic to all man-made chemicals, including MSG, nitrates, glucose, oxygen, all proteins, and hemoglobin."

24 comments:

Justin said...

Hmm, I wonder if he has gone through sensitization or not to be able to survive with such extensive allergies to life....

Anonymous said...

wow oxygen, glucose, proteins and hemoglobin allergies? Do you ever ask how they are walking around? Forget, of course, they are not man made chemicals. Does he just eat pure fat?

jimbo26 said...

No answer to that ;)

Bobbi said...

This is one of the ones that makes me hope you just made it up.

Auntie Beth said...

lol! haemoglobin allergy ... I can't even breathe I'm laughing so hard!

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Eosinophil, since neurologists contain a lot of proteins, hemoglobin, oxygen,glucose and even nitrates, not to mention all the magnesium, calcium, phosphorous, iron, zinc and a lot of others, it would be better for your health if you avoided Dr Grumpy.

Stacey Gordon said...

Which explains why people buy the crap they do just because it has the "all natural" label. Hemlock is all natural... I ain't eatin' it.

Packer said...

Oxygen allergy leaves me breathless.

Take some Claritin and call me in the morning.

Don said...

I think that people list things as allergies, because they didn't like the side effects of receiving it in the past.

I know a couple people who didn't like the nasal cannulas and how O2 dried out their nose, so they started claiming an Oxygen allergy

ndenunz said...

Tell him I can supply him with some plant derived oxygen for a price. Guaranteed never touched by human hands.

Affan Qadri said...

Poor man is alive, how much can one suffer?

Charles said...

Yes! that man-made oxygen is always triggering my asthma.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

It's not man-made. It's artisanal oxygen.

Loren Pechtel said...

"I'm allergic to sanity"

rapnzl rn said...

Herniated my last brain cell trying to imagine how an allergy to hgb might manifest.
Methinks there's an allergy to psychiatrists on that list, somewhere.

Anonymous said...

She's a medical miracle!!!

Whelk Lad! said...

"So can I have some Percocet?"

Mal said...

This word(s). I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anonymous said...

Technically, hemoglobin is man made on the inside, that is. (Yeah, I know: I'm a smart-ass)

Anonymous said...

Nice one!
I also like people who claim to be allergic to prednisone!

Hemoglobin allergy is kind of real though...look up gardner-diamond syndrome...

Alleycat said...

He didn't mention hydrogen hydroxide, sometimes erroneously referred to as dihydrogen monoxide. That stuff has killed people! Stay away!!!

bobbie said...

One weeps...

I once had a patient tell me he was allergic to Epinephrine.

Me: What happens if you are given Epi?

Mr. Tach: It makes my heart race.

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I sent this to my retired-toxicologist mom, who was mightily amused, and who explained "eosinophil." (I'd gotten as far as thinking there must be some back-story involving eosin; I assumed that "eosinophil" was Dr. Grumpy wordplay. Not.)

C said...

how about woman-made hemoglobin, or dog-made hemoglobin? if he picks out some road kill, we can get him some other kind...would he like that better?

 
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