Friday, May 3, 2013
Patient quote of the day
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Mr. Eosinophil: "I'm allergic to all man-made chemicals, including MSG, nitrates, glucose, oxygen, all proteins, and hemoglobin."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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24 comments:
Hmm, I wonder if he has gone through sensitization or not to be able to survive with such extensive allergies to life....
wow oxygen, glucose, proteins and hemoglobin allergies? Do you ever ask how they are walking around? Forget, of course, they are not man made chemicals. Does he just eat pure fat?
No answer to that ;)
This is one of the ones that makes me hope you just made it up.
lol! haemoglobin allergy ... I can't even breathe I'm laughing so hard!
Dear Mr Eosinophil, since neurologists contain a lot of proteins, hemoglobin, oxygen,glucose and even nitrates, not to mention all the magnesium, calcium, phosphorous, iron, zinc and a lot of others, it would be better for your health if you avoided Dr Grumpy.
Which explains why people buy the crap they do just because it has the "all natural" label. Hemlock is all natural... I ain't eatin' it.
Oxygen allergy leaves me breathless.
Take some Claritin and call me in the morning.
I think that people list things as allergies, because they didn't like the side effects of receiving it in the past.
I know a couple people who didn't like the nasal cannulas and how O2 dried out their nose, so they started claiming an Oxygen allergy
Tell him I can supply him with some plant derived oxygen for a price. Guaranteed never touched by human hands.
Poor man is alive, how much can one suffer?
Yes! that man-made oxygen is always triggering my asthma.
It's not man-made. It's artisanal oxygen.
"I'm allergic to sanity"
Herniated my last brain cell trying to imagine how an allergy to hgb might manifest.
Methinks there's an allergy to psychiatrists on that list, somewhere.
She's a medical miracle!!!
"So can I have some Percocet?"
This word(s). I do not think it means what you think it means.
Technically, hemoglobin is man made on the inside, that is. (Yeah, I know: I'm a smart-ass)
Nice one!
I also like people who claim to be allergic to prednisone!
Hemoglobin allergy is kind of real though...look up gardner-diamond syndrome...
He didn't mention hydrogen hydroxide, sometimes erroneously referred to as dihydrogen monoxide. That stuff has killed people! Stay away!!!
One weeps...
I once had a patient tell me he was allergic to Epinephrine.
Me: What happens if you are given Epi?
Mr. Tach: It makes my heart race.
It was all I could do to keep a straight face.
I sent this to my retired-toxicologist mom, who was mightily amused, and who explained "eosinophil." (I'd gotten as far as thinking there must be some back-story involving eosin; I assumed that "eosinophil" was Dr. Grumpy wordplay. Not.)
how about woman-made hemoglobin, or dog-made hemoglobin? if he picks out some road kill, we can get him some other kind...would he like that better?
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