Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Great moments in Jewish parenting

"DAD! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE THAT YOU TOOK AWAY MY NINTENDO 3DS! YOU TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY TOO! THIS IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE ONE OF THE MACCABEES, WHEN PHARAOH MADE THEM WORSHIP HIS GODS AND MADE THEM SLAVES AND JUDAH SAW THE BURNING BUSH FOR 8 DAYS AND SENT MOSES WITH A MENORAH TO TELL THE ROMANS TO LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!"

41 comments:

kath8562 said...

Oy, Vey....

Brent said...

I would give him an "A" for creativity and a perssuasive arguement, but an "F" in religious studies.

Anonymous said...

Scarred for life, these kids are.

Anonymous said...

Oh the HUMANITY!

Anonymous said...

Thousands of years from now, your confiscation of the Nintendo 3DS will sitll be spoken of...

Anonymous said...

"Mom when you say No to me it takes away my power and my happiness."
An 8 year old....

Chivas Owle said...

I am pretty sure that is how it happened.

Lisa said...

What the hell? I'm a presbyterian with an evangelical education. I can get the story better than he did. Don't you dare give that Nintendo back. Make him earn it by getting the history right.

Charles said...

Ground him to his room; all electronics and other entertainment removed except for a copy of the torah, and a diet of nothing but water and matzo.

Then in 40 days and nights time ask him how's his "dignity."

Moose said...

Cannot. Stop. LAUGHING.

I love your kids.

Anonymous said...

So taking away his Nintendo is religious persecution?

Anonymous said...

Go down Moses, way down to Promised Land, tell old Pharoah, oh, oh... to let my people go.

How does Dr. Grumpy take all this conniving after his day in cuckoo-land? Where do you hide the smile? My father managed to always keep a straight face, but his twinkly eyes gave him away every time, and the crinkles in the corners.

Captain Foulenough said...

"Moses with a menorah" will be replacing "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ" as my go-to oath.

Beth said...

Had to be Marie? Only a girl would be that dramatic

Unknown said...

absolutely brilliant! I keep laughing every time I remember it :)
Im just happy that since you took away his nintendo he didnt manage to get mario in on the story as well!!

Student said...

Lol. Smart kid.

Anonymous said...

Charles.....I think it would need to be water, matzo, a few enemas and Johnny on the spot.

C said...

We're mostly Agnostic-so the kids just get all pissed and slam doors. The Burning Bush argument would be a pleasant change. *puts teaching World Religions on list of things to do this week*

Lisa H said...

Reminds me of one the best Passover songs ever- They Tried to Kill Us (wwe survived, let's eat) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34atu3WGUgc

Best line - Charlton Heston said"Pharoh you're a damned dirty ape".

Mama D said...

My aunt got some hysterically mixed-up stories like that from kids when she taught CCD. Your kid needs some remedial Jewish history classes! ;)

Anonymous said...

Did you manage to hold the laughter in, or was more dignity lost?

I not only wouldn't give the DS back, I'd tell the Hebrew school teacher the miscreant needed extra help. Don't mess with mama-mama is sneakier and meaner than you, kid.

If I tell you I have to kill you said...

Oy.

Jules Someone said...

Moses with a Menorah is my Matisyahu cover band.

Becky Cropwell said...

Sounds like Idol worship to me. Better wander the house for 40 years...

Liz said...

Good Lord! I'm not sure I can even begin to count the number of biblical stories referenced in there! That is awesome and hilarious!

bobbie said...

If 'twere Craig that said that, you could always just mess up his hair! That would REALLY hurt his dignity!!

Val said...

Seconding "Moses with a menorah" to use as an oath. That was hilarious. XD

Val said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cape Cod Step-Mom said...

My new favorite non-swear swear

Steeny Lou said...

I'm with Lisa:

"Don't you dare give that Nintendo back. Make him earn it by getting the history right."

LOL! (We need a simple "like" or "thumbs up" button in here.)

Anonymous said...

So much for Hebrew school tuition.

Amy said...

oh wow. Impressive. But, I always thought Moses was packin' a dreidel. Shows what I know. I also thing "Moses with a Menorah" is an awesome swear. My standard is "Judas H. On A Stick", at least MWAM makes sense. Thanks for sharing this.....

Vic said...

I think you need a new Hebrew School!

cliffintokyo said...

I assume he still has his i-pad, which he used to look up all that stuff on Google.

Ms. Donna said...

Ok I have not stopped laughing, five minutes later. This should be a neuro test.(If you are not laughing, you need to be checked for death.)
However.
As others have pointed out, there are errors in the story. I agree with the other posters that the Nintendo (Tool of Satan to some, big kid pacifier to others) should not be returned until the kid in question gets the Passover story right, and the Maccabees straight.
Let my people go, indeed!

Ardosa said...


Is that comment bad enough to get close to the golden calf? does he then have to wander the house for 40 days (that's close to 40y child time) before he can be let into the promised land with electronics?

pharmacy chick said...

LOL, a little Torah Review might be in order before the Nintendo is returned! hahahaha

heterodyne said...

I just love children and their creativity! It's never boring :DD
Kudos to whoever thought this up!

Anonymous said...

hmmmmm.....that's an interesting take on combining and adding to Biblical stories. Did he think you wouldn't notice?

Packer said...

Cut the crap and just beat them instead.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the 6th season finale of Doctor Who. That's what you get when you mess with a fixed point in time!

 
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