Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Great moments in Jewish parenting
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"DAD! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE THAT YOU TOOK AWAY MY NINTENDO 3DS! YOU
TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY TOO! THIS IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE ONE OF THE MACCABEES, WHEN PHARAOH MADE THEM WORSHIP HIS GODS AND MADE THEM SLAVES AND JUDAH SAW THE BURNING BUSH FOR 8 DAYS AND SENT
MOSES WITH A MENORAH TO TELL THE ROMANS TO LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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2012
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October
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- Dear Patient,
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- Great moments in Jewish parenting
- Mary's desk, October 9, 2012
- Reasons to keep beer in the break room
- Sunday
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41 comments:
Oy, Vey....
I would give him an "A" for creativity and a perssuasive arguement, but an "F" in religious studies.
Scarred for life, these kids are.
Oh the HUMANITY!
Thousands of years from now, your confiscation of the Nintendo 3DS will sitll be spoken of...
"Mom when you say No to me it takes away my power and my happiness."
An 8 year old....
I am pretty sure that is how it happened.
What the hell? I'm a presbyterian with an evangelical education. I can get the story better than he did. Don't you dare give that Nintendo back. Make him earn it by getting the history right.
Ground him to his room; all electronics and other entertainment removed except for a copy of the torah, and a diet of nothing but water and matzo.
Then in 40 days and nights time ask him how's his "dignity."
Cannot. Stop. LAUGHING.
I love your kids.
So taking away his Nintendo is religious persecution?
Go down Moses, way down to Promised Land, tell old Pharoah, oh, oh... to let my people go.
How does Dr. Grumpy take all this conniving after his day in cuckoo-land? Where do you hide the smile? My father managed to always keep a straight face, but his twinkly eyes gave him away every time, and the crinkles in the corners.
"Moses with a menorah" will be replacing "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ" as my go-to oath.
Had to be Marie? Only a girl would be that dramatic
absolutely brilliant! I keep laughing every time I remember it :)
Im just happy that since you took away his nintendo he didnt manage to get mario in on the story as well!!
Lol. Smart kid.
Charles.....I think it would need to be water, matzo, a few enemas and Johnny on the spot.
We're mostly Agnostic-so the kids just get all pissed and slam doors. The Burning Bush argument would be a pleasant change. *puts teaching World Religions on list of things to do this week*
Reminds me of one the best Passover songs ever- They Tried to Kill Us (wwe survived, let's eat) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34atu3WGUgc
Best line - Charlton Heston said"Pharoh you're a damned dirty ape".
My aunt got some hysterically mixed-up stories like that from kids when she taught CCD. Your kid needs some remedial Jewish history classes! ;)
Did you manage to hold the laughter in, or was more dignity lost?
I not only wouldn't give the DS back, I'd tell the Hebrew school teacher the miscreant needed extra help. Don't mess with mama-mama is sneakier and meaner than you, kid.
Oy.
Moses with a Menorah is my Matisyahu cover band.
Sounds like Idol worship to me. Better wander the house for 40 years...
Good Lord! I'm not sure I can even begin to count the number of biblical stories referenced in there! That is awesome and hilarious!
If 'twere Craig that said that, you could always just mess up his hair! That would REALLY hurt his dignity!!
Seconding "Moses with a menorah" to use as an oath. That was hilarious. XD
My new favorite non-swear swear
I'm with Lisa:
"Don't you dare give that Nintendo back. Make him earn it by getting the history right."
LOL! (We need a simple "like" or "thumbs up" button in here.)
So much for Hebrew school tuition.
oh wow. Impressive. But, I always thought Moses was packin' a dreidel. Shows what I know. I also thing "Moses with a Menorah" is an awesome swear. My standard is "Judas H. On A Stick", at least MWAM makes sense. Thanks for sharing this.....
I think you need a new Hebrew School!
I assume he still has his i-pad, which he used to look up all that stuff on Google.
Ok I have not stopped laughing, five minutes later. This should be a neuro test.(If you are not laughing, you need to be checked for death.)
However.
As others have pointed out, there are errors in the story. I agree with the other posters that the Nintendo (Tool of Satan to some, big kid pacifier to others) should not be returned until the kid in question gets the Passover story right, and the Maccabees straight.
Let my people go, indeed!
Is that comment bad enough to get close to the golden calf? does he then have to wander the house for 40 days (that's close to 40y child time) before he can be let into the promised land with electronics?
LOL, a little Torah Review might be in order before the Nintendo is returned! hahahaha
I just love children and their creativity! It's never boring :DD
Kudos to whoever thought this up!
hmmmmm.....that's an interesting take on combining and adding to Biblical stories. Did he think you wouldn't notice?
Cut the crap and just beat them instead.
Sounds like the 6th season finale of Doctor Who. That's what you get when you mess with a fixed point in time!
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