This morning I was called to evaluate a 23 year-old lady who was found
floating face down in her pool. Probable suicide attempt.
While I was writing my chart note a nurse came over to tell me that the
patient's fiancé was on the phone, and wanted to talk to a doctor about
what was going on. I picked up the phone and had the following
Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?."
Mr. Fiancé: "Yeah, are you the doctor taking care of my fiancé, Jane Doe?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes sir."
Mr. Fiancé: "Are her car keys there? 'Cause it's my car, and I need it back."
Dr. Grumpy: (astounded) "No sir, there aren't any car keys here."
Mr. Fiancé: "Well, did she leave a note saying where the car keys were, or where she left my car parked? I need it, because I have stuff to do today."
Dr. Grumpy: "No, sir, nothing like that"
Mr. Fiancé: "Well, you're no help to me" (hangs up).