Saturday, April 2, 2011

Back to the artisanal mailbag

Ever since I began whining about the horrific overuse of the word "artisan" and it's derivatives a while back, you guys have been inspired to send in examples.

Due to surprisingly popular demand, I've created a webpage just for this insanity. It's down on the right sidebar, listed with my other specialty page on history stories.

As always, you guys sent in A LOT of stuff. I'm only going to post a few at a time. So if yours isn't up today, don't worry. It likely will be in the future.

And now it's time for (drumroll please):






One of you wrote that you have a free GPS service, which occasionally posts screen ads. And when you drove by an Olive Garden restaurant, you got this:






Artisanal, by definition, means "hand made by a skilled craftsman". As much as I like Costco, somehow I don't think their mass-produced pizza fits that category.






Even fast-food giant Wendy's is doing it. They also get bonus points for putting another overused annoyance, "panini" onto the same menu page.






With your artisanal breakfast you'll want coffee...





Some of you, however, may prefer to stay home and prepare meals with artisanal kitchen appliances (in great colors, too!)




But don't eat TOO much or you won't fit into your swimsuit!






And if all this artisanal crap makes you want to vomit, maybe it's time to head for the toilet.


25 comments:

Old MD Girl said...

I think "artisan" might be synonymous with "tacky."

The Mother said...

Even you gotta admit, that toilet really IS artisanal. If a bit nauseating.

Anonymous said...

At least the word "panini" refers to actual specific things instead of being meaningless fluff like "artisanal." But when will people learn that it's plural??? One panino, two panini...

Anonymous said...

Hoy, hoy. Let's all hear it for the artisanal wannabes.

CrownedwithVictory said...

All I can think of is this: For a fancy toilet like that, you would think they could at least eliminate the swirly, male pee-catching pipe design on the sides. Those things are the devil to clean.

myoclonicjerk said...

This just gets better every day...

Nancy said...

I guess the toilet would be perfect for artisanal output.

Can you imagine the despair of cleaning the grout in a toilet like that? I'd probably go artisanal on someone's butt.

pharmacy chick said...

I kinda like the toilet...

Outre said...

That artisan mixer sure seems non-artisan to me...

It’ll probably have trouble trying to mix artisan bread dough with it’s plastic dough hook. Bawhahhaha.

(Not mocking KA, I myself own a Kitchen Aid mixer, just the professional line with more robust all-metal (so they say) parts and a big ass bowl on a lift)

wv: Syntlimb: for phantom limb pain, nothing beats syntlimb

C said...

OK, this very day after a hike, we went to a Mexican restaurant and they had one of those toilets...I felt bad using it because it was so pretty...at least I wasn't using it for much. :(

Morris said...

Blimey, just looking at that loo makes one want to use it..
That pattern is enough to make my head spin! :)

horsetech said...

Wouldn't that be Dr. Grumpee's Blogge?

cliffintokyo said...

Thanks to all this free publicity, people should have realized by now that 'artisan(al)' just means
'fake(d) craftsmanship'.
Keep up the great revelations.

Laura said...

I was drinking a bottle of water the other day. I looked at the label and, yep, you guessed it, it was artisanal water. Made me think of you, and made me wonder how water can be artisan.

Sarah Glenn said...

I would think that toilet would worsen the headache from a hangover...

Laura said...

IN my overloaded inbox this morning:

http://www.artbeads.com/coming-soon-artbeanz.html?cmp=emn-040111

Camille said...

Who wants to clean the grout on that toilet??? Not ME said the hen, not ME said the duck, not ME said the Camille. Too many places to catch....nevermind. Gross - but tres Artisanal. No really...it may be the only item so far that actually fits the description.

Packer said...

DROP THE ARTISINAL THING AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT.

Hear tell, H&R Block is doing artisinal tax refunds this year, but .... in order to get one you actually had to earn a living last year.

Anonymous said...

Just thinking that my last litter of Golden Retriever pups must have definitely been Artisan.....
The stud dog gave up his donation via some handy work by the clinician and then that was implanted by hand in the female.
Yup they were pretty much hand made.....
And how about all those petri dish Artisan children out there....

Spike said...

So, at Wendy's, is the sandwich itself artisanal, or is it made with artisanal eggs, lovingly hand-laid by professional crafts-chickens?

Anonymous said...

I love the bathing suit!!! I am going to order it. It could use a new name but it is super cute!

Heidi said...

That toilet is awesome.

Class factotum said...

Scroll down for the "artisanal lettuce:"

http://www.sendiksmarket.com/home/specials/weekly_ad/

Ishie said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose first thought was "I kinda love the toilet".

Lord of the Eeple said...

I love the toilet. And there's no grout on it. It's not a tile mosaic, it's it's just a regular smooth toilet with hand-painted coloured glaze.

 
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