Thank you, Ellie!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2011
(616)
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January
(55)
- MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- January 31, 2011 - Happy Holiday!
- Memories...
- More great research
- Oh, the humanity!
- Mary's desk, January 28, 2011
- Whatever works
- Yeah, like that's going to happen
- Failed biology, did we?
- "It's the family name, son. Try to live up to it."
- Wednesday afternoon rant
- Dear Marketing Bozos,
- Oh, for hell's sake!
- January 25, 1995
- Wow!
- Public Service Announcement
- Sunday reruns
- Memories
- Patients behaving badly
- Today's safety tip
- Guessing games
- Wednesday afternoon
- Medical research
- "You mean we're smokin' dogshit, man?"
- Dear Main Line Health,
- Sorry, no cape
- Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over?
- Riding the rapids
- Insanity
- Saturday
- Friday afternoon follies
- MARIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Role Reversal
- But he doesn't look a day over 400!
- Questions I'm sorry I asked
- Dear Americhoice Healthcare
- Mary's desk, January 11, 2011
- Medical research
- Attention guys!
- Monday morning, 4:53 a.m.
- Skool Nerse Tyme
- Bedside manner with Dr. Grumpy
- Parenthood
- Criminal of the week
- Oooo! Tell me more!
- OH BOY! It's time for my pap smear!
- Challenging case
- January 5, 1941
- Let's do the time warp, again...
- Attention ladies!
- Whatever
- Early morning hospital rounds
- Pink medical scrubs? A black wig? And a Darth Vade...
- New Year's Resolution
- New year re-runs
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January
(55)
17 comments:
Hey, I've written that on discharge instructions in the ER. You gotta have a dream.
They make it sound so SIMPLE!
let's not be so quick with the recommendations there fellas. I think a second opinion is warranted.
D/C Medications:
Dilaudid 8 mg q4h prn
Ha! One of our doctors had a patient complain of chest tightness and a severe cough in the mornings and she wasn't sure why it kept happening...while taking her history, though, it came out that she smoked "a shitload" of pot every night.
Well, ma'am...I sometimes come to work with a sensativitey to light and splitting headache. I'm really thirsty, too. I'm sure it has nothing to do with drinking heavily the night before because you all drive me crazy.
*sigh*
Anyway, totally off topic, but you've actually inspired me to start a blog so that I can share some of my front desk nightmares - I'd love it if you'd take a look!
http://frontdesknothing.blogspot.com/
Happy (almost) Friday!
Hey, at least this person can't say, "Well, nobody ever told me not to....."
"You think I don't notice that a few dime bags disappear from my private drawer every time you have an appointment?"
It's in all caps...does it count as yelling?
Bet the patient's name was Charlie Sheen.
Not such helpful advice without any resources. Funny... buuut useless.
Meh. That advice isn't special. They say that to all the heroin addicts.
LOL! Reminds me of when my doctor had a patient complaining of breaking her arm after she fell. She kept moaning and groaning in the room. His answer? "Stop falling!"
"Or, at the very least, stop dosing yourself by firing heroin-covered bullets into your leg."
Now, THAT was laugh-out-loud funny.
I write things like this on discharge instructions all the time. I try to hedge my bets a bit too, and usually write something like 'Do not use (drug of choice) or any other addictive or mind altering substance'. It hasn't happened yet, but I can just imagine that sooner or later I'd get a frequent flyer back who'd say 'well, you only told me to quit snorting oxycontin. That means meth is OK.'
Ah, the medical field can be so fickle...used to be that heroin was "a miracle drug" along with so many others! :) Looked this up, for amusement sake:
http://www.pharmacytechs.net/blog/old-school-medicine-ads
Herooin itself isn't so bad, it's all the other things they cut it with.
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