Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Mary, come shoot me. Now.

Dr. Grumpy: "... so that's the plan. Any questions about the back problem at this point?"

Mrs. Cerumen: "No, but my sister and I have been comparing notes, and I think she makes more earwax than I do. Is this normal?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, uh, I..."

Mrs. Cerumen (whips out cell phone): "Here's a picture of all the wax she dug out of her ears last week. Can you look in my ears and compare them to that?"

24 comments:

Stephanie said...

I didnt know there was a contest on ear wax production.

I feel bad for this woman's husband.

Amanda said...

Shut up. It's just not true. Can't be.

Arzt4Empfaenger said...

I thought the whole point of becoming a neurologist was to not have to ever look at earwax. (And ingrown toenails, or pimples in the buttcrack.)

Aura said...

You have to look in the ear to check the brain anyhow, so....

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Amanda- sorry. It is true. I wish it weren't.

Aura said...

A) Everything posted on this site happened. (Rule 1 for Grumpy readers.)
B) It's on the net, ergo it's true
C) Why wouldn't you believe a doctor?
D) Whenever dumbfounded, refer to A

Personally, I don't believe Dr G's stories UNLESS they're off the wall. None of that pseudocrazy blog filler, I need my fix.

danielle said...

ooohhhh.....sibling rivalry.....gotta love it!

Amy said...

Wow! I think they need a new hobby.

Fit said...

Nice.

What was your response? Did you try and "one-up" her and have her look in your ear? ;-)

Anonymous said...

I think the two of them should make a detailed study over at least a year and then get back to you with their collection.

Here's one for your stupid/unlucky criminals file:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-11718285

Anonymous said...

I think she is over 65 the age at which most Americans become overly concerned, nay --obsessive about bodily functions. My father before he died at age 88, after falling off a ladder while cutting branches in the backyard--would talk about the number of bowel movements per week, any change was a major medical issue. He started doing that at age 65. Walked 5 miles every morning, played trumpet in a marching band, obsessed about bowel movements and died falling out of a tree.

Anonymous said...

Refer her and her sister to the most expensive ENT specialist you can find! Heh heh heh.

RehabNurse said...

Gee, I thought I was the only one who cared about ear wax....I refer the cleanouts to one of our old time specialists, the nurse practitioner.

She's threatening to turn over her tools to the next generation soon, if she gets too many ear cleanout calls.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"There's a bottle of Cold Duck riding on this."

binkRN said...

Uh, oh. Better be careful, she may bring you a poo sample at her follow-up.

SBG23 said...

I hope the ear wax questions are on the wane.....Doh!

I guess they waxed and waxed about their wax....

Wax on... wax off....

I'm done now...

The Mother said...

So, did you?

ERP said...

Well, technically the ears are close to the brain so they should be included in your specialty.

Anonymous said...

Must've been the sticky kind? Eh, the flaky stuff would've fallen out when they turned her on her noggin.

Anonymous said...

Well she wouldn't want her fallopian tubes gettin clogged up in there now would she?

Please tell me it's the same lady!?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Nope.

Maha said...

Until you get an old jar of miracle whip filled to the brim with possible melena stool shoved at you, I can't entirely sympathize with your dealings with Mrs Cerumen!

sandy shoes said...

No. Effing. Way.

Do cardiologists have patients like this too?

Anonymous said...

Consider yourself lucky...At least you don't have a gigantic woman belly-up to the pharmacy counter only to hand you a used tube of vaginal creme in a ziploc baggie to try to decipher the rx number for a refill. Then at the counter after said refill is ready, she pulls a sweaty five dollar bill from her bra. Gross.

When will people learn?!?!

 
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