Sunday, July 18, 2010

Grumpy Summer Vacation, Day 4

Today we drove to Seattle.

As you may remember, last night we had trouble finding a hotel room. The town was small, but we were tired, and couldn't handle the thought of driving for another few hours.

Unfortunately, the place is hosting some sort of regional fishing meeting, so finding a room was hard. We finally got one in a nondescript place on the outskirts. It looked fine, and served breakfast to boot (for people traveling with kids, the trend of hotels that offer even a basic continental breakfast is just awesome). There were several other families there, and the pool was full of kids. So we went in, and I asked for a room. That seemed to surprise the friendly clerk, and he said "How many rooms?" I replied "Oh, just one." I figured he was just hard of hearing.

Silly me. At breakfast this morning we discovered that the place covertly specializes in polygamous families. So our little familial unit of 5 was dwarfed by throngs of kids in different colored clothes, mothers rushing everywhere, and alpha males eating waffles. One guy had a T-shirt that said "I may not be smart, but I can lift heavy things". I was glad when none of them asked me about Marie's availability.

A few miles outside Missoula we passed a large bra in the middle of the road. This was followed by a sock, then a pair of shorts, and, after a surprisingly large wardrobe of clothes, we caught up to a car with suitcases on the roof, one of which was unlocked and opening as they hit bumps, allowing things to escape. We tried to tell the driver, but she flipped us off.

We saw this warehouse as we traveled. For my other medical readers, I had to get a shot of it. So now I know where the land of Junkie Joy is located.





Western Montana is remarkably scenic. Our enjoyment of it was only slightly marred by Frank asking "How do they do such nice landscaping?”

Later, while driving through the middle of nowhere we passed a cement plant. In typical tourist fashion, there were several cars pulled over with people taking pictures of it. I don't understand people.

It occurred to me today that the GPS system has ruined one of the truly great moments of childhood trips: watching your parents fighting over directions. Today's children will grow up with no idea that parents would once fight over directions, would fight over whether or not to pull over and ask for directions, would fight over who got to hold the map. The most they ever hear is the pleasant GPS voice saying "RECALCULATING" which translates into "You dipshit, why can't you listen?"

In late afternoon we passed a religious billboard, which read “Jesus said ‘This is the work of the Lord’ ”. Due to poor (or perhaps intentional) placement, the sign was located immediately next to the town landfill.

After arriving in Seattle we took the kids down to the waterfront for dinner, and ate outside. There we were assaulted by that most aggressive bird of prey, the seagull. It's like these things evolved solely for the purpose of attacking people who eat outside. Some of them were so fat it was amazing to see them fly.

The kids are watching Underdog, the movie. I'm going to bed, the queen size.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

when I use to lifeguard if there were some people that were annoying me in the water and no one was looking I would throw food on their blanket so the birds would attack their things.

Helen said...

I learned all my swear words listening to my parents fight over directions on vacation.

I might go out to Seattle for a few days in August. I've never been, so I would like a full report, please.

Rachael said...

I read this post to mu husband and we were laughing so hard, I had trouble talking. Thank you for the laughs! Enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Felix Kasza said...

Dear Dr. Grumpy:

If you are still in the Seattle area, and in the mood for a drink or reasonably decent food (family vacation? drinks, if I am not mistaken!), I'd be happy to get to meet you (all of you, I mean) -- felixk@microsoft.com, cell phone (206) 235-3291.

Your devoted reader
Felix Kasza.

RxKerBer said...

I love the Norco building! Do my patients take a monthy pilgramage there and that's why they are always going out of town and needing that refil early?

Marco said...

Be sure to check out the Crittenden boat locks and Salmon Ladder. Also, Archie McPhee's for the kids. Lastly, Twice Sold Tales on Harvard (Capitol Hill) is where Marco ( the cat pictured) lives!

Kayleigh M. said...

Ah, you're in the great city of Seattle...my home sweet home. I'm a 3rd year OB/GYN resident at the University of Washington, wanna be on call for me...you'll meet some more crazey and insane people :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry folks, but that pic of a Norco building is actually for this company: http://www.norco-inc.com/

Anonymous said...

Your tale of the road clothing, typical.
Around here we have "Hillbilly Movers". Motto: "Them dresser drawers'll stay shut, don'cha worry none, now tie this twine around the fridge and let's get 'er done."

Old MD Girl said...

Maybe the guy thought Marie was your second wife?

Anonymous said...

The sea gulls of Seattle are nowhere near as aggressive as those illegal immigrants - the Canada Geese.

Sarah G said...

My parents always found things to argue about, no matter where we were going. Directions was never one of them.

It was a reversal on the cliche: my brother and I sat in the back of the car reading our books, and my parents argued in the front until my mother fell asleep. Yes she could.

7nTM said...

Having lived outside of Seattle for most of my life, I'm not surprised by the report of aggressive birds near the water. What surprises me even less (though on many levels, it really should) is the never-ending supply of locals and tourists who think that Seagulls are better served eating french fries, chicken finger breading, and a host of other incarnations of finger food. That is why we are seeing a growing problem of water-fowl obesity. Doubters, check the link.

http://milkandhoney2009.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/secpic_seagull1_b1233704043.jpg

Anonymous said...

When I was in Kerala, India, our driver would pull up at anything he thought would be of any touristic interest.

At one point, I found myself taking a picture of a brickyard because it seemed quicker and easier than arguing.

PharmGamerKid said...

theres a town in ca name norco haha.

Ari said...

Just in case you're driving back through eastern Washington, one piece of advice: don't stop in Forks for the night. 20 years before Twilight made it famous, it achieved legendary status in our family for having the grungiest hotel ever experienced. To this day, we use the phrase "at least it's not Forks."

Nectarine said...

They probably wanted a picture to attach to their hilarious cement-related blog.

Frantic Pharmacist said...

I'm very jealous of you going to the Tetons... only been there once years ago and I remember it was spectacular. We got to eat dinner at Jenny Lake Lodge (they had a cancellation) and it was awesome.

Sunny said...

If you have time, go walk down by the waterfront and have fish and chips at Ivar's. They absolutely rock! The seagulls love eating the left overs. No trip to Seattle is complete without lunch at Ivar's.

The RPh said...

I totally would have stopped for the Norco picture, too!

And Anon at 7:01am, pretty sure NONE of us thought it was for the real Norco, but thanks for being that guy anyway!

kate said...

I just got back from a weekend in Seattle and couldn't agree more about the seagulls there - how DO those fatass things get off of the ground??

The Angry Pharmacist said...

Nice shot of the front of my pharmacy (well, most days it seems like that should be the front of my store).

dining table said...

I always follow my parent’s wants during vacations. That picture is a perfect shot. I wonder what building is that and where it is located.

 
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