Monday, July 12, 2010

Cause & Association

Miss Payne: "I don't feel well. I think it has something to do with my new job. Maybe it's the building. All the people there seem sick."

Dr. Grumpy: "Where do you work?"

Miss Payne: "I'm a receptionist at Local Hospice."

26 comments:

Wayne Conrad said...

I'm on to your game, Dr. Grumpy. So that you can continue to tell us funny stories without someone calling you on the carpet for HIPA violations, workplace harassment, or swinging kittens around by their tails, you've given yourself an out. Your stories, one after the other, have me saying, "No way. He's got to be making this up." I suspect you hope that any prospective jurors would say the same thing, hence the liberal salting of your blog with Texas-sized tale-tales, Brobdignagian whoppers that can't possibly be true. But, like a good urban legend, if they aren't true then they sure ought to be.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

You must not work in health care.

Wayne Conrad said...

I print and mail invoices, the majority of them medical. But you're right, I never have to talk to the end customer. Yay!

By the way, announce at a party that you print and mail invoices, and people get that same look on their face that women get when they smell something bad. Then they hastily excuse themselves go to talk to the IRS agent or accountant on the other side of the room. Yeah, my profession is that popular. But I sure don't want to admit I program computers for a living, which is far worse (at a social gathering) than being a doctor. Everybody, and I mean everybody--including the doctor--waits their turn to needle you for free advice on subjects no more related to your specialty than is a Rotifer to a retrovirus. "You program on Linux? Great! Maybe you can help me with my Windows Virus problem..."

So, if you ever see some geeky looking guy at a party claiming to be a doctor because he'd rather hear about someone's bowel problems, I hope you understand.

kate said...

I've SO got Dr. Grumpy's back on this one. I work in a doctor's office, too, and you would be amazed at some of the thing that otherwise functional adults say and do. It's seriously mind-blowing. I hear 'you've got to be making this up' more often than not while sharing stories about my job...

And, Dr. Grumpy, my job as a receptionist makes me not feel well, too, but I think that it's more mental anguish than anything else :)

Diana said...

Part of my work consists of handling both workers comp and customer liability claims for a very large fast food franchise owner. After 5 years of this I can believe anything. What's sad is that these people aren't even embarrassed when caught in an outright lie...by a video showing what really happened!

terri c said...

Did you ask Miss Payne if she has written her advance directives? Has she thought about a mortuary?

Li'l Azathoth said...

"If it weren't for Hawaiian Shirt Fridays, the place would just be too depressing to bear."

Anonymous said...

"Also, I'm supposed to give out these buy-ten-get-one-free loyalty cards and stamp them, but nobody seems to want one."

a.generic doc said...

If she stays at the job a bit longer, she'll notice that most of the people there are dying off.

missaunt said...

Oh, no, she did-uhn. Dr. G, I'm with Wayne C. You've got to making this up unless, well, they're
C to the R to the AZY.

Have Myelin? said...

I'm a patient with MS. I believe every single word he says because the health care system is driving me NUTS.

I hate Medicaid. God, the stories I could tell you....

The Mother said...

Yep. That would do it.

Hospital Lab Tech said...

See most of the crazy things that people say to me are said by medical staff. An example happened just yesterday:

Her: "I've sent a sample for a full blood count and it's really urgent, so could you do it quickly please?"

Me: "What's the patient's name?"

Her: "Oh I don't know, do you need that?"

Erm....?

Anonymous said...

People in all lines of endeavor encounter an endless stream of idiots. This being a Dr. blog, they are mostly patients and inept medical persons.
I wonder if there's a Father Grumpy out there somewhere?
Most likely.


wv: plocatin, probably be on TV soon "Tell your Dr. you need...

ERP said...

Holy crap you have airborne cancer!

Brendon said...

People, don't forget that Dr. Grumpy is indeed a neurologist... He's bound to have more "special encounters" than a general physician.

Anonymous said...

"It could be a lot worse, though- I could be on the drive-through window."

the observer said...

I have a friend, the gentlest gentleman you would ever find,and for several years he worked doing collection calls for a bank. I could not understand how he could do it! I was so glad for him when the bank eliminated his job and he had to do something else. It was amazing to watch the convo die when he mentioned his job...

Katie said...

I thought of you today...

Standing in the passport line at the post office.
Man: You don't need a passport to visit Hawaii, right? Because it's in the same country, isn't it?

In his defense, this was in the context of a conversation about when passports were not needed to visit Mexico and Canada... but really? Yes, Hawaii is a state. It has been for 50 years.

The Evil Receptionist said...

Damn, kate beat me to it. There are days when I wonder if the patients are sucking the patience right out of me. (Pun intended, I think.)

terri c said...

Oh yes there are plenty of ministerial blogs that mention idiots.

Idiots are universal. Sometimes I encounter 'em and sometimes I AM ONE.

Anonymous said...

"I preferred it when it was still a brothel, but that insurance money was just too good to turn down."

HyperCryptical said...

I think Miss Payne is in the wrong job! Her observation skills are a 100%! Definitely doctor material!

Brave Old World said...

Along with not being a doctor or a programmer, don't be an architect at parties. You either get ranted at about the price of houses, or get asked to design someone's extension on the back of a napkin / explain local building codes / give advice on leaky roofs. (Ones three counties away that you couldn't have a look at even if you wanted to!)

And since I currently work for a large conservation charity and spend a lot of time dealing with The Public, I can verify that a lot of them are idiots. Best question I ever got: "Had they invented wood in the Middle Ages?"

Debbie said...

@ Brendon--I'm not sure Dr. Grumpy's specialty leads to more encounters with--uh--AMAZING--people than other specialties. Just think of it...ER, psychiatry, proctology.....

Anonymous said...

...the drive through window.....got me chortling! do you suppose she's trying to create a worker's comp claim foundation here?

thanks for the giggle!

 
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