Sunday, July 4, 2010

4th of July

Today we went to the waterpark. Among the posted rules, I was horrified to see "Local Waterpark is not responsible for sunburn."

WTF is the world coming to? People are actually suing waterparks for sun exposure? Isn't the sun something you encounter, like air and water? Isn't there already a boatload of info out there about such things as sunscreen or protective clothing? Are people really this stupid? (sigh, I know)

It's a good thing they had that notice up, because when Craig and I went on the lazy river there was a guy going around it endlessly, snoring away, and being gradually transformed into a leather handbag.

One water slide that Marie really likes turns you sideways as you go down it, and you swing back and forth between 2 high sides, gradually coming to a stop. While we were waiting in line for our 3rd time there was suddenly a loud scream, and as we watched a teenage girl came down the slide- followed a few seconds later by her bikini top. The girl was frantically trying to cover herself and hold onto the inner tube at the same time, to the great amusement of pretty much everyone. The girl didn't seem very happy about the round of applause she earned, or the multiple requests for an encore.

My kids spend all their time at waterparks doing one of 5 things:

1. Playing together.

2. Playing apart.

3. Fighting because they are playing together.

4. Fighting because they are playing apart.

5. Whining about other topics.

As a result, Mrs. Grumpy and I spend a fair amount of time trying not to referee these disputes. We hide from the kids. Usually the days end when they all find us at once.

Then they bitch and moan about having to go home, claiming they'd just started having fun.


Amanda said...

The whining and bitching and moaning from my kids would be the reason why I let my other relatives take my offspring to water parks. I can handle Disney. I can handle just about anything. But water parks plus potential sunburn plus drowning risk just skeeve me out more than I can possibly express.

Unfortunately, my last childless relatives (my little sister and her husband) are now producing their own children, so looks like I'm either going to have to suck it up and let the kids drag me to Wet 'n' Wild, or listen to them moan for the next 10 years or so.

A decade suddenly isn't sounding that long...

Anonymous said...

Ain't parenthood grand?

Anonymous said...

Dr. G., your 4th sounds as iconic as Sinclair Lewis hamburger as the County Fair.
Thanks for a vicarious trip into nostalgia.

Anonymous said...

Thank heavens they haven't reached the moody stage when they say they don't want to watch the fireworks, so the endless referee stage morphs into a different stage.

The Mother said...

I know it seems far, far away, but the day will come when you can drop all three off with a tube of sunscreen and go home.

Of course, you would have missed the bikini top incident. But with all three gone, you and Nurse Grumpy might be able to make up for that.

Anonymous said...

mother- wash, rinse, repeat?

Whitney said...

People definitely don't understand the properties of the sun. A few weeks ago, I drew the short straw and had to answer the phone call from the guy who "wants to know an alternative to sunscreen". After explaining the limited options to him, he told me --- "I was thinking I'd just smear myself all over with vasoline and wear my tank top outside today."

Maha said...

Not responsible for sunburn? Then who can I blame for my poor choices in sun protection??

It sounds like you guys had a fun day - maybe I'll go to the water park on my next day off.

Happy 4th of July!

Anonymous said...

So how were her cans?

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's just me, but that bikini-less scenario is exactly why I would never wear a bikini to a waterpark. (Some of the more modern styles of two-pieces would work, but not the standard "tie it in the back" bikini.)

Mugdha said...

@Whitney: oh man, with a question like that you shoulda just let him find out first hand that vaseline would cook him alive.

Anonymous said...

Nearly half a century ago when I was about 15, my uncle wanted to teach me to water ski. After a dozen tries, I was finally sking a few feet. And the buttons on the back of my swim suit top popped off, I let go of the tow rope and never tried again

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