Sunday, May 24, 2009

Nine Minutes After Midnight

My cell phone rings at 12:09 a.m. on this Sunday morning, waking me from a dead sleep. I recognize the caller ID number, which is a bad sign already. It's Mr. Bozohusband. He and his wife are notorious for pointless phone calls.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."

Mr. Bozohusband: "Hi, I have a question about my wife's medications."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"

Mr. Bozohusband: "She had dental surgery 2 days ago, and the dentist gave her Vicodin. Is it safe for her to take?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Hasn't she taken Vicodin for years for her back pain? She's never had any problems with it before."

Mr. Bozohusband: "No, she hasn't. But this is for her dental surgery, not her back pain."

23 comments:

HugeMD said...

I'm glad they waited two days to call and ask you this at MIDNIGHT!

They wouldn't want to call you during the business day and possibly inconvenience you during your workday. How sweet.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yup. They're special.

The Bus Driver said...

I'm not just a passenger on the special bus, I'm also the driver!!! LOL

You cant make this stuff up!

Kate said...

Oy.

Been there.

mojitogirl said...

You're a scream!! You'd love practicing in Key West, where the WHOLE POPULATION is a page out of your blog!

I want to have your children.....but I'll settle for blogrolling you!

keep it coming!!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Why think you, Mojito.

You can have, and keep, my children. Just let me know where to drop them off.

Sephora said...

This can't be good for me that I'm still awake at midnight pretty much everyday. I need to sleep more.

Maha said...

Geez Dr. Grumpy, that's a legit question - just because the vicodin worked for her back pain doesn't mean its going to work for her dental pain unless she gets your permission...at midnight. *headdesk*

Fiz said...

Where do you find them? (Or they find you?) They really are special, aren't they?!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Special as in "rode the short school bus".

My staff often accuses me of advertising with flyers in trailer parks.

on-my-mind said...

Grumpy, your comment made me chuckle. That was great.

I was trying to leave and go do some real work, but the title of this entry just got my attention. Oh well, now I can leave with a huge smile on my face.

Take care.

PS - Found your blog via Scalpel or Sword. Both of you are great.

Fiz said...

Well you must stop, then!

KC said...

I hope you charged for that call. Also. I like your profile picture.

08armydoc said...

Did you ask "WTF"?

It's funny and all, but seriously, did you ask what his problem was????

Who the f##k thinks to call **anyone** at midnight, much less their doctor???

-Armydoc

little d, S.N. said...

Though my knowledge of neuro is limited, I love your blog! Following!

(Not sure if i'll go Neuro though...sounds like there are more nuts there than in the ER even!)

little d, S.N. said...

Found your blog via Nurse K...love it! Following!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Thank you, little d! Welcome!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Armydoc: The answer, regrettably, is my patients.

KC: Thank you! It's Walter Matthau, from "The Sunshine Boys".

And no, I can't charge for calls. Insurance won't allow it.

Carlene Noggle said...

I stumbled across your blog and want to tell you that I am hooked. No, I am not a doctor, I am a 55 year old widow who has to waitress for a living, but I do believe that you have some of my customers for your patients!!! lol
God bless,
carlene

Miss Chevious said...

Your blog is fantastic. I have to ask, though, do you not have an answering service that screens nutjobs like this? If not, you should definitely stop advertising in the trailer parks (grin).

Frantic Pharmacist said...

Ah yes, we could fill several volumes with these kinds of questions, couldn't we! Someone called me the other day with a question on taking her medication with food. "Now, should I take it JUST before I eat, after I've started to eat, or after I'm finished eating?"
Well, at least it wasn't midnight...

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Miss Chevious:

I fired them years ago. Their operators had the IQ of some of my patients, so it was more trouble then it was worth.

Anonymous said...

I work in a pharmacy. The other day a woman came up and dropped a script off for vicodin. After running it we noticed it was rejected for being to soon. When we told her she couldnt get it because she filled vicodin the day before and should have a 30 day supply, she responded with "But that one was for my back, this is for my teeth"....yes ma'am, you take one pill for each pain you experience.

 
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