Monday, February 6, 2023

Ancient History

Dr. Grumpy: "So what's going on?"

Dr. Aristotle: "I'm worried about my wife's thinking."

Lady Aristotle: "There is nothing wrong with me."

She sets down her coffee and glares at him.

Dr. Grumpy: "What concerns you?"

Dr. Aristotle: "She doesn't like reading Plato's Republic any more."


Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

Lady Aristotle: "You know what, Pericles? I NEVER liked it. I bet none of your college students ever liked it, either. And now that you're retired from BSU, I'm tired of hearing about it and pretending I even give a damn about Plato or his book! I did that for long enough!"

She picks up her coffee again.

Dr. Aristotle: "See, I don't think that's normal. You must have read it in college, didn't you Dr. Grumpy?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Um... actually I read the Cliff Notes."

Lady Aristotle: "SEE? I bet they all did, Pericles."

Dr. Aristotle: "But the Cliff Notes aren't the same. You must have gotten a bad grade just working off of that."

Dr. Grumpy: "I got a B+, but not liking Plato's Republic isn't a criteria for dementia. If it was most people would be diagnosed with it."

Lady Aristotle starts laughing.

Dr. Grumpy: "But to get back to the point of the visit, have there been other changes you've found concerning?"

Dr. Aristotle: "Well she... You know, I can't believe a college professor gave a B+ to a student who only read the Cliff Notes."

Dr. Grumpy: "Neither could I, but you did."

Lady Aristotle blew coffee all over my desk and started laughing so hard she got up and left. He went after her.


Anonymous said...

I loved this

Rama Squiggler said...

"Cliff Notes- for when you need to write a paper on something that's not covered by the D&D guides."

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

"Did I really? The eighties are kind of a blur to me. The whole Classics department at BSU was one nonstop sex and coke party. Man, those were some good times..."

Πλάτων said...

Τι στο διάολο, φίλε; Δούλεψα τον κώλο μου σε αυτό το πράγμα! Και μην με κάνετε να ξεκινήσω με όλα τα χάλια που έπρεπε να πάρω από την Ξανθίππη!

Anonymous said...

Grade inflation- that explains our medical profession?

Mad Jack said...

Another amazing story! Thanks, I needed a laugh today.

danielle said...


juvat said...

Doctor G,

BobF said...

It is 4:45 in the morning here and I just woke my wife up by laughing out loud, and I do mean LOUD.

Anonymous said...

Don’t think there aren’t the equivalents of Cliff’s Guides to Medicine -e.g.

Anonymous said...

Made thru college without reading it!

Anonymous said...

I did not appreciate Plato's Republic - it's a one-sided opinion piece that requires a second volume to reflect the opposing opinion - Plato's Dictatorship

Packer said...

Wow, you’re gonna get a 4.5 on the Google marriage counseling review page if you’re not careful. Leave them laughing

Ms. Donna said...

I bet Potone loved that. Yes, I got through “The Republic,” but relied on the notes of a trusted upperclasswoman

Anonymous said...

Nowadays they probably have a Play-Doh coloring book for grade-schoolers.

Olivia said...

I can believe it. I was an english major - when you're assigned over 2000 pages of reading a week, Cliff's notes become a must have. And when you've written over a certain number of papers, you can riff one off in your sleep with far less info than Cliff's would provide.

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