Monday, August 22, 2022

Undercover Angel

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "My wife says I kick in my sleep."

Lady Bedsheet: "He does! About an hour after he dozes off his legs start thrashing around, and it keeps me up."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do they..."

Lady Bedsheet: "Actually, I took a video of him doing it last night. Would that help?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure, why don't you put it on and I'll have a look."

Lady Bedsheet: "Let me get my phone." (rummages in her purse)

Mr. Bedsheet: "Doc, do you mind if I come around to that side of your desk? I want to see what it looks like myself."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's fine, why don't you stand right there." (I took a swig of Diet Coke)

Lady Bedsheet: "Okay, this woke me up just after midnight last night, you can see them kicking here..."

(I suddenly tried desperately not to blow Diet Coke all over her phone)

Mr. Bedsheet: "WHAT THE FUCK, HARRIET? WHY IS THAT IN THERE?"

Lady Bedsheet: "What was I supposed to do? You always sleep in the buff."

(I managed - barely - to get the Diet Coke down

Mr. Bedsheet: "YOU COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN IT FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE?!!!"

Lady Bedsheet: "A different angle? Who am I, Spielberg?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT A SHEET OVER MY CROTCH OR SOMETHING?"

Lady Bedsheet: "Look, Dr. Grumpy is a doctor. I'm sure he looks at schlongs all day in his job."

Mr. Bedsheet: "He's a brain doctor! They don't look at schlongs!"

Lady Bedsheet: "Dr. Grumpy, is this true? Do brain doctors look at schlongs at work or don't they?"

Dr. Grumpy: (desperately trying to regain control of the appointment) "Um, how many nights a week does this happen?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "What? That she films my schlong? Apparently at least once."

Lady Bedsheet: "Harold, can you stop saying 'schlong'? I'm sure the doctor would prefer a more medical term."

Mr. Bedsheet: "I think he'd prefer you go sit in the waiting room."

Lady Bedsheet: "Fine. Dr. Grumpy, did you see enough of the video to understand what's going on?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Most definitely."


20 comments:

Dr. Seuss said...

If you're on your back and you kick and a chick makes a flick with your dick and your sack, it's called a dick sack kick back chick flick.

Anonymous said...

Paranormal Activity: The Unrated Version

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, that's the wrong video. The one with you in it is this one."

juvat said...

Oh, now, THAT was funny. Great start to the week. Thanks!

bobbie said...

O. M. G.!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So just tie one end of a string to his toe, and the other end to his schlong, and that way he'll wake himself up whenever he starts kicking.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that where most guys' brains are located?

A. Marie said...

Sorry I can't comment intelligently. Too limp with laughter (given the subject matter, "limp" is probably the right word) at both Dr. G's post and most of the comments.

Mad Jack said...

Ha!
Ha!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!

I love it. If I knew how much fun it was being a doctor, I'd have stayed in school.

Packer said...

Cell phones everywhere, be careful

Packer said...

I was not aware of restless schlock syndrome. The things you learn from reading Grumpy

Anonymous said...

Haven't laughed this much since that BBC interview video had gone viral back in 2017, where the political science professor in South Korea was doing a live BBC interview on TV, when his very young daughter and infant son entered their Dad's office and his wife had to grab both kids and get them out of the room. That was epic and this is killer funny.

Anonymous said...

Face palm,,,, yep, just knew there was a reason I didn't specialize in urology.

Lena said...

That is absolutely hilarious! Amazing you kept a straight face.
"what the f harriet" LOL

Anonymous said...

Why do men have legs? So their brains don't drag on the ground.

Bedřich Fuzzybank said...

"But did you have to add the 'talking potato' Snapchat filter?"

Anonymous said...

Omg, I am laughing so hard I literally have tears running down my face right now!!

evodevo said...

OMG that's hilarious...
On another note, MY husband does the same thing (at least he sleeps in underwear lol). I've seen on the innertubes that it's called PLMD? And he definitely DOES wake me up...

ASM826 said...

I am glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that.

Anonymous said...

😄

 
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