Monday, March 7, 2022

Meanwhile, up front

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, and he says you need to work me in RIGHT AWAY. Like, today. Now."

Mary: "We have nothing open today... I can do next Wednesday, at 2:30, or..."

Ms. Young: "I looked it up! On the internet it says you are legally obligated to get me in, since my doctor referred me urgently!"

Mary: "Uh, no. If you have an emergency you'll need to go to ER. We don't have any kind of relationship with Dr. Neverheardofhim. The soonest I get you in is Wednesday, though I can put you on a waiting list for..."

Ms. Young: "This is terrible that you're breaking the law like this! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

She hung up


2 hours later


Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, um, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, I called earlier, and I decided I'll take the Wednesday appointment."

Mary: "I'm sorry, but it's no longer available. We can see you Friday morning, at 8:00, or..."

Ms. Young: "You gave away my appointment? You can't do that!"

Mary: "You never made an appointment."

Ms. Young: "You offered it to me! That's the same thing! I looked it up! On the internet it says you are legally obligated to hold it for me."

Mary: "I'm not going to argue with you. Would you like the Friday morning slot?"

Ms. Young: "This is terrible that you're breaking the law like this! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

She hung up 

 

1 hour later. 

 

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, um, I called earlier, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, can I take the Friday morning appointment? Is it still available?"

Mary: "It is, that's Friday morning at 8:00. Okay, what insurance do you have?"

Ms. Young: "Federal United Healthcare."

Mary: "Oh... I'm sorry, Dr. Grumpy isn't contracted with F-U Healthcare."

Ms. Young: "Dr. Neverheardofhim referred me! So you have to take it! I looked it up on the internet!"

Mary: "We don't take that plan, so you'll have to try their website to find a neurologist who does."

Ms. Young: "No, that's YOUR job! You need to find someone who takes my insurance, and have them work me in! It's the law! I looked it up on the internet! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

Mary hung up


19 comments:

Unknown said...

Mary has the patience of a saint.

A. Marie said...

I repeat my usual comment that whatever Mary gets paid, it's not enough.

Ms. Donna said...

A. Marie is right. But, to be fair, the insurance woes do come as a surprise to many. One reason why "Neverheardofhim's" referred her is because 1. Neverhearofhim heard good things about that Yak herder, Grumpy, or 2. Grumpy's office is close to Ms. Young's home, and ANY Yak herder can take care of her. Doctors are smart and sometimes sneaky, so take your pick.
Please note: My sarcasm button is on full, as postal and/supply chain woes have interrupted my medication supply (MD's staff is on it), and it is Monday.

Bedřich Fuzzybank said...

"I'm your cousin, so you have to unblock my number! It's the law! I looked it up on the internet!"

bobbie said...

***SIGH*** Monumental stupidity ~
Another raise for Mary, and a loooong vacation!

Anonymous said...

If you're breaking the law, shouldn't she be calling the police instead of a lawyer?

mary beth said...

I'm glad I'm not her cousin.

jimbo26 said...

Donny *promised* - it’s on the internet . /s

Packer said...

I am a lawyer and I can never understand
Why I’ll send them getting all these calls from my cousin

Anonymous said...

I cherish the times people have threatened me with legal action.

Oh, you'll call your cousin the lawyer? You're going to sue me? OK, if there's legal action pending, all further communication should be directed to your lawyer, who will communicate it to my lawyer. Good day, sir or madam...

Anonymous said...

"I looked it up on the internet! Rule 34!"

vegakitty said...

Reminds me of some of the nonsense I heard when I was doing a job similar to Mary's at an Air Force hospital:

1. "What does it mean when it hurts here?" They then point to some place on their axial skeleton. I explain that I'm not credentialed to give any medical opinions. "Then what good are you?" Like Mary, I ran that place.

2. "I'm a retired general and I demand you bump one of these airmen and give me their appointment!" No. When I was first hired, the department chair told me that our patients were strictly first come, first serve, and active duty military members had priority over retirees. So, that's how I gave out appointments.

3. Same retired general: "Don't you know who I am?" My response to this was, "No. Should I?" Never seen someone turn that shade of purple before. However, he was in civilian clothes and I'd never seen him before. Besides, if a general was coming in for an appointment I'd definitely know about it ahead of time, and all the ones who paid visits to us were polite - it was usually their entourage that made me want to swear.

And so on. Mary is a saint.

Anonymous said...

"By the way, I'm calling you even though I don't live in Grumpyville because none of the asshole neurologists in my hometown will take my calls anymore. So you have to send a private plane to come get me! It's the law! I looked it up on the internet!"

evodevo said...

You don't pay Mary anywhere NEAR enough LOL. I was a mail carrier for 25 years and we had to put up with that crap too...it's amazing what people imagine you are supposed to do for their special entitled selves...

Anonymous said...

"Hello, is this the editor of the New Yorker? Why haven't you run that 50,000 word manuscript about my earwax that I sent you six months ago?.....What do you mean, you're not going to? You're legally required to [etc. etc.]"

Anonymous said...

Ten years earlier:

"Hello, is this the admissions office for Harvard Law School? What's this about rejecting me? I have a whole bunch of cousins who are counting on me for legal services!....So what if my grades and LSAT score are bad? I sent in an application, so you're legally obliged to take me! It's the law! I looked it up on the internet!...... Great! See you in the fall!"

Anonymous said...

Mary: Oh, but we have just had a call from a lawyer who advised us not to put up with a certain Ms Young's crap. Apparently he is related to her.

Anonymous said...

Dr G
Let me introduce myself. I am Karen Young's cousin - and you are in real trouble.

C said...

as a person who did contact her insurance co AND a "patient navigator" and 2 HR reps about a coverage issue and who was told 17 different things, and who did look up whatever she could on her insurance web site which was very unclear, I feel sorry for that person because she does need help but is unlikely to get it.

 
Locations of visitors to this page