Sunday, April 26, 2020

Phone calls

I'm with a patient when Mary knocks to say there's an ER doctor on hold for me.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."

Doctor Er: "Oh, crap, I didn't think you'd pick up so fast. Hey I need to talk to you about one of your seizure patients."

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure. What's up?"

Doctor Er: "It's a guy, I think in his 40's, he's on one of those newer seizure meds? He says he hasn't seen you for about a year?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have a name?"

Doctor Er: "I, uh, don't have the chart in front of me. He takes an epilepsy medication? Does that sound familiar?"

Dr. Grumpy: "It could be quite a few patients. Do you have a date of birth?"

Doctor Er: "Honestly, I figured I'd be on hold for a few minutes, so I'm not at the computer. Actually, I'm sitting on the can right now. How about I call you back in a few minutes when I'm done?"

Dr. Grumpy: "That's fine."

Doctor Er: "Thanks."



Anonymous said...

Hah! Any seasoned EM doc should expect at least 2 critical results, 1 admit, and 2-3 annoyed consultants to call in the second the scrubs are loosened. Thanks for your patience!

bobbie said...


John Woolman said...

I thought ER docs were capable of doing a 12 hour shift without fluid and food input or output...

Anonymous said...

Apparently this guy was never a boy scout, or he would have been prepared.

OMDG said...

I honestly impressed he’s able to take a dump at work given how busy they are in the ED.

Anonymous said...

As an intern, I made a personal vow I'd take at least five minutes for lunch break when I witnessed my preceptor nearly choke to death on a ham sandwich... He picked up the phone too quickly. We'd learning the Heimlich Maneuver in First Aid, so I recognized the gasps and bulging eyes. Choking to death is never worth it. I've even managed to allow the phone to ring five times in a row before answering it.

Packer said...

Red hair, slightly balding, death before dishonor tat on right shoulder, mustache

Grumpy: Oh, Jimmy Smith or his identical twin Bobby

gloriap said...

Call me back, but sanitize the phone first, willya?

Shash said...

Hoo boy, but at least you got off the phone quickly.

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