Tuesday, December 17, 2019


Phone rings.

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Latrodectus: "Hello, I need to make an appointment with Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "Let me put you on hold for a sec, I'm scheduling another patient right now."

Mary finishes scheduling the other patient in < 1 minute, goes back to Mrs. Lactrodectus, finds she hung up.

Phone rings.

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Latrodectus: "How DARE you put me on hold. I'm a VERY busy woman!"

Mary: "Sorry, but there's always a lot going on here. Okay... We have an opening next Wednesday afternoon... what are you going to be seeing Dr. Grumpy for?"

Mrs. Latrodectus: "Excuse me? Are you the doctor?"

Mary: "No, I'm his secretary."

Mrs. Latrodectus: "Well, I don't have to tell underlings why I'm coming in. Unless he's willing to get on the phone right now, I have no plans to discuss this on this call."

Mary: "The only reason I ask is because there are several disorders he doesn't handle, and so I don't want to waste your time, or his, if you come in and he doesn't see your condition."

Mrs. Latrodectus: "I'm a very busy woman and don't have time for this nonsense. Why don't you just tell me all the things he doesn't treat and I'll decide if this is worthwhile."

Mary: "I'm not going to do that. Do you want to make an appointment or not?"

Mrs. Lactrodectus: "You have some nerve!"



Anonymous said...

Mary is a saint and you doc, dodged a bullet!

bobbie said...

Yet another raise for Mary!!!

jono said...

Is Mrs. Lactrodectus a widow? Yet?

A. Marie said...

(1) Nice choice of moniker for the caller. I had to look it up, but I LOL'd when I did.

(2) And I heartily recommend a VERY generous holiday bonus for Mary!

Packer said...

So Grumpy is really a NOROLOGIST

Ms. Donna said...

Go Mary, Go Mary!Go Mary, Go Mary!Go Mary, Go Mary!Go Mary, Go Mary!

Anonymous said...

I wonder why there are so many rude patients. It almost makes me feel like I want to be this rude in talking on the phone. In the business, we're taught to respond within x number of 'rings', give a standard introductory "Hello, This is So and So, at Such and Such. How may I help you?" and then put a smile on our face as we imagine serving the client at the other end of the string. It's rather difficult to keep a straight face when the caller tears into no. 5 tin can, with a haughty tone in the voice. However, I do recall some advice for public speakers when unable to see over the footlights --imagine your audience without any clothes. Does that help?

LSU Tigers Fan said...

Don't you know who I am? How dare you think I would discuss my case or (potential) condition with someone as trifling as you!

Anonymous said...

Ms Lacrodectus probably eats the neurologist after the visit is over

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of Mr. Stroke from several years ago, who was way too busy to stay at the ER for evaluation, or to show up for Dr. Grumpy at his appointment time.

Wonder what happened to Mr. Stroke.

Loren Pechtel said...

Obviously Dr. Grumpy doesn't treat entitlement syndrome.

Anonymous said...


vegakitty said...

Yep, got the same treatment when I worked as a physical therapy clinic receptionist. One guy said to me, "And talking to you will further my Air Force career how?" I told him, "Well, you told me you're on flight status but can't fly until you see a therapist, so if you want to fly again you'd better talk to me." (He did.)

Packer said...

Anon@3:15. Many people confuse rudeness with directness. I frequently encounter dissembling explanations and I many times respond with , Thank you but your response in no way answered my query. To that, I get “No need to be rude”. Now that for me is not my jump zone. That comes after I say, Ok, I am sorry and must have missed something could you explain again. It all hangs in that moment. To this point there has been no rudeness, only a perception,for which an unnecessary , but diplomatic apology has issued. For 30 years I used the can you hear me now Phone company and I found that each and every encounter was marked by this same type of exchange, so I no longer use them. Rude patients sometimes lose their patience as I did when it took 16 days to have my RX filled for a vital medicine, the Dr. had sent it in, the pharmacy insisting no way. Neither communicated in an effective manner. Finally, in frustration I printed out my patient portal took it to pharmacy and showed it to them, later. When I went to pick it up they said they could not get insurance approval. Finally two days later they called and I went and got it as my arrhythmia was returning. Of course the Dr. did not see fit to get me a weeks supply. At the pharmacy they said that Blue Cross gave them a hard time. I directly, not rudely pointed out that I did not have Blue Cross, I then directly not rudely had my records sent to a new cardiologist. Patients sometimes are rightly rude.

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