Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Monday night, 11:18 p.m.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mr. Vasculopath: "Hi, you were my neurologist at the hospital last week, when I had a stroke."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, what's up?"

Mr. Vasculopath: "Well, I'm really worried. You prescribed Otquoobo to keep me from having another stroke, and I read about it on It says it's really dangerous, and so I haven't started it, and now I'm worried I'm going to have another stroke, and I got all upset."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, let's talk about it. Are you okay right now?"

Mr. Vasculopath: "Yeah, I'm better. I just smoked a pack of cigs to calm down."


Anonymous said... that's the Dr grumpy I've come to know and love thru this blog!!

Gotta laugh too at the cigs. Reminds me of a certain friend who scoffs at the thought of antidepressants because they're serious drugs, but has a few big drinks every nite to feel alive and quell her anxiety.

Packer said...

I have the solution to the problem, Call in the Reiki Practitioner and Joe Camel to finish the therapy.
On a serious note, I joined a group when diagnoses with a vexatious autoimmune disease. I can tell you about nicotine therapy,chugging aloe vera, kefir, probiotics, fasting, and a million other things of that nature but where my group really excels in the area of Dr . and Big Pharma conspiracy to keep everyone sick so money can be made. Makes Hillary selling Uranium, Trump and the Russians seem like Pikeville. So Alldrugs are is right up their alley.

Officer Cynical said...

Nicotine...the safe drug.

Astrolabe Silverwax said...

"When I'm really stressed, I like to relax with a few rounds of Russian roulette. It's like my version of a fidget spinner."

Kaz at said...

I looked for online and didn’t find it. I am seriously disappointed. I need an excuse to stop taking my pills because they interact with alcohol.

Anonymous said...

Packer and Astrolabe TOO true. Honestly, stupidity REIGNS on online forums. Yeah, we are all subspecialist docs, with a Ph.D. from Harvard thrown in for good measure in oh say biophysics or neuroscience, along with our joint Masters in EE and biomed engineering from M.I.T. NOT. Cannot stand the ALL meds are poison comments. All for being a natural Nellie, IF it works, but it typically doesn't. Mostly scroll past the ignorance, but occasionally need to scream.

Anonymous said...

yup, nothing irks me more than hearing, "oh did you hear that such and such could CURE you (or kill you depending on what is being touted)--and thats why google is a dangerous place to find your primary information. I just politely ask, where did Dr Google (or said friend) get his MD?" I have a doctor, thank you for your concern. lol

In this lady's case, i think she's just in denial and hasn't made it through the 5 stages of...grief, but she'd better get to acceptance quick!

clairesmum said...

I remind folks that free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it - nothing.

I tell folks that if they want health info on the web check out a site from a recognized place like Mayo Clinic or Cleveland Clinic or such that is not selling any product or cure. Yes they promote what is available at their place, but the basic information is understandable and encourages a pt to in what to tell doc r/t sx

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