Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Wednesday reruns

Dear Dr. Dipshit,

You sent a fax over to my office this morning that only said "PLEASE CALL ME ASAP TO DISCUSS MUTUAL PATIENT IMA DINGDONG!!! I'M AT 867-5309!!!".

I can only assume you did this because you are incapable of actually dialing a phone by yourself. Obviously, if someone at your end can look up a fax number, they could have found my phone number, too.

Mary brought it back to me about 3 minutes after it printed, and interrupted me while I was with a patient because it looked urgent.

I don't mind being interrupted, because a patient emergency should always take priority. So I called 867-5309.

The call was immediately transferred to your answering service, who told me your office was closed and offered to page another doctor on call, who likely had no idea why you were trying to reach me urgently. I begged the operator to see if your office had a backline she could connect me to, and she kindly did.

The lady (Jenny, I assume) who answered your back line obviously didn't give a shit. I told her I was Dr. Grumpy, and I was returning YOUR fax about Mrs. Dingdong. She told me the office was closed, and I should leave a message with the answering service. When I repeated that YOU HAD FAXED ME, she said you were having coffee with a drug rep, and didn't want to interrupt you (I guess it's better for a doctor to be interrupted when with a patient, huh?).

I told her that the fax said it was an emergency, so she sighed heavily (I could hear her rolling her eyes), whined, and said, "okay, let me go see if he's done".

I was then placed on hold for 2 minutes and 38 seconds (while I'm with a patient at my end) before another of your staff came on, said you were still with the drug rep, and asked me which patient it was on, what their date-of-birth was, and why was I calling in the first place? Could it wait until your office opened after lunch?

Sorry I hung up at that point, but I didn't want to scream and swear at some poor staff member that you'd stuck between us. Obviously, you and I have a different definition of "emergency".

And you can call me back if you need me. Or, better yet, just tell the patient to.


Candi said...

...I have no words for such disconsideration. Both of you and his staff.

If he wanted to talk to you that badly, he could at least have given them a heads up. Sheesh.

Kassy said...

True story with only some details changed:

Specialist saw pt in hospital today.
Another specialist saw same pt later that morning in hospital and wanted to clarify something with other doctor. Called 1st doctor's office. Doctor #1 was in the office but office staff required doctor#2 to call answering service. Doctor #3(who knows nothing about the patient) is on call so is who the answering service connects doctor #2 to.

stacey said...

Jenny Jenny.

giggle snort.

Anonymous said...

Now I've got that song stuck in my head. Nicely played, Dr. G, nicely played. ;-)

The Condign Gentleman said...

"You don't understand. It's kopi luwak!"

George Costanza said...

Isn't it generally understood that "coffee" is a euphemism for "sex?"

mary beth said...

I can understand why you change patient names, but you should use the physician's real name so that patients don't accidentally go to him.

PGYx said...

If I need to speak to another doc to coordinate care for a patient I generally expect a doctor to call me back the same day, even if it is after hours. I usually give my cell phone number.

But if a doctor calls me, I generally expect him to take time out to talk with me unless he's in surgery, mid-procedure, or in the bathroom.

I understand it's tough because you don't want to make the current patient feel marginalized (and some will be pissed off that you interrupted their care for anything but THEM), but if it were for them they would want you to take the call.

Anonymous said...

Obviously PGYx. That's why Dr. G made the call in the first place.

The post was about the disrespect the other doc and staff handed out to Dr. G when he made the requested call.

I think it's arrogant to expect another doctor to call you about YOUR patient when you haven't even attempted to call the doctor yourself first.

Moose said...

Am I a bad person for enjoying stories of doctors being f*ckwits?

People tend to put doctors on pedestals. Hell, some doctors put themselves on pedestals. I always enjoy stories that point out that doctors are human beings, with faults - some bigger than others - and that intelligence or the ability to cough up information (aka Med School) isn't the same thing as wisdom or common sense.

Anonymous said...

Hey Moose, what's the difference between God and a doctor?
God doesn't think he's a doctor.

Anonymous said...

If there is a follow-up to this story, I'd love to hear it! Did Dr. Dipshit ever call you back? Did he apologize for Jenny's asinine behavior? Did the drug rep offer some good "coffee"?

Old RPh said...

Pretty rude of you Dr G, interrupting Dr Dipshit's intercourse with the drug rep.

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