Wednesday, March 19, 2014


Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."

Mrs. Phleb: "It's been 2 weeks, and I want to know what my labs showed. Nobody called me."

Annie: "Hmmm... I don't see any results in the system."

Mrs. Phleb: "Well, I took the order in. I don't know why they didn't send them to you."

Annie: "What lab did you go to?"

Mrs. Phleb: "The one in your building. I did exactly what Dr. Grumpy told me to do!"

Annie: "That's strange. Usually they're pretty reliable. Did you have the blood drawn right after your appointment?"

Mrs. Phleb: "What blood draw?"

Annie: "They didn't draw your blood? What exactly did you do?"

Mrs. Phleb: "What Dr. Grumpy told me! He handed me the order, and said to take it to the lab downstairs. I did that, and gave it to the girl at the counter. She set it aside to answer a phone call, and was talking to some lady about scheduling. So I left and went to lunch with Ed."

Annie: "You were supposed to wait for them to draw your blood. The lab order is just an order."

Mrs. Phleb: "Well, he should have explained that!"


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the patient.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the patient. The woman on the phone was at fault.

Anonymous said...

When you leave here, walk down the hall to the lab. Take this paper with you. Hand it to them. Have a seat. Wait. When the person at the desk calls your name go with them. Roll up your sleeve for them. Make a fist for them. Look away when they put the needle in it makes it easier. Don't take the band aid off until you get home, you don't want to bleed on your shirt. After that you can go home or to lunch.

Or if you prefer, you can just give them the paper and leave. We will do the bloodless blood test and magically send you the results later today.

Anonymous said...

i'm surprised she managed to get herself to the office for her appointment.

Anonymous said...

The population of Stupidsville gets bigger by the minute.

Moose said...

Nobody is addressing the important issue here: YOUR PATIENT ATE YOUR FISH!!!

(She says she 'went to' lunch with Ed. You know what that REALLY means...)

lbparker said...

Hey, Moose is right! Where's Ed??

Anonymous said...

I would like to know if you and your staff have a special wall that is designated for frustrated head-banging, or do you allow everyone to use any available wall?

Lordy, Lordy.


Anonymous said...

I am also wondering how she was able to get to the office appointment.

Agreeing with Moose, we need to know if Ed, the office fish, is trully safe.

Anonymous said...

No hold on, how is it the woman on the phone's fault? Answering the phone is probably ALSO part of her job, while anticipating that people don't know lab results require lab work, which requires a blood draw is probably NOT.

Anonymous said...

I would like the beleive you made this story up, however working in a hospital lab I have complete confidence you did not. This is like the people who call us up angry that the extra 5 doctors they wanted to get a copy of their results did not get one, and it's because they gave us the name of their urologist not their cardiac specialist.

Anonymous said...

I think this patient is either married to the guy in the commercial who is sawing off a branch directly over his neighbors car or is married to the guy who is watering his lawn and doesn't notice his neighbor is about to drop a one thousand pound branch on his car.

bluetoothbuddha said...

Circa 1992, when I was starting medical school.

All the new students were lined up at the admissions clinic for our medicals. Blood and urine samples, EKG, chest X-ray -- all done.

Next, they asked us for a rectal swab. (I am not sure it's done routinely as a screening test anymore...)

Anyway, we go into the loo one at a time, get the swab done, and are out in a couple of minutes. The guy in front of me, however, stays in there for a heck of a lot of time. And comes out with a face as red as a cherry, sweating profusely.

I ask him if he's alright?

And he says, "Bloody tube wouldn't go up my a$$! They could have given us some lubricant! And that little cotton swab they give you to wipe afterwards? Don't even get me started on that!"

Anonymous said...

Bluetoothbudda...Some years ago, my then 14yr. old daughter was sick. She had been vomiting for a few days and I put it down to the flu. When she didn't get better took her to the Doctor and he was pretty sure she had mono. He did give us some suppositories for the vomiting. We get home and I shake one out of the bottle into my hand and am wondering just how I'm going to do this when she snarls(she really did) 'I can do this myself.) I shrug with relief and replied, 'great.' The medicine didn't help and that evening before handing her the second one, I took the silver wrapping off it and she stood there looking at it and said..."what's that?"
I promised her I would never tell anyone, but after about ten years, she saw the humor in it and told me I could tell it. Even thirty years later, we still laugh about it.

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