We're Not There Yet

Mrs. Technophobe, I understand that this "internet" and "email" thing look kind of magical, as you only sent your first email last week, with your granddaughter's help.

And I appreciate you telling me that you can look up movie show times online. I tried my best to look impressed. I didn't have the heart to tell you that you may be the last person in a G8 country to find this out.

And you're clearly fascinated by the fact that I can send your prescriptions in by email. Obviously, being a net newbie, you haven't read posts by myself or The Angry Pharmacist bitching about how much we HATE e-Scripts.

But, as much as you apparently think this is going to happen (because in your mind what else could "e-prescription" mean), your pills ARE NOT going to come to you by email. I swear. The matter-to-energy-to-matter conversion technology isn't there yet. And arguing with me and Annie about this is not going to make it happen.

Keep an eye on your mailbox. The metal one, yes, that thing, in the front yard, and your Plavix will magically appear there in about a week.

You Idiot

Dr. Grumpy: "At your last visit I started you on Neurontin for the pain. How's it working?"

Mr. Idiot: "It works fine, but I don't like the side effects."

Dr. Grumpy: "What kind of side effects are you having?"

Mr. Idiot: "If I stop taking it, the pain comes back."

Progress Note Addendum

William, a medical student, has submitted the following, more detailed, chart for your perusal.

I still think we neurologists should have a special "Freaks and Greeks" heading for our field, though.

Thank you, William!

(click to enlarge)

Why Did You Decide To Become a Neurologist?

I get that question a lot, people wondering why I'm a doctor, how I got into neurology, if this is my real hair or just a cheap rug, and... but I digress.

Anyway, I'd like to present this flow chart which explains the complex process by which a medical student (sort of like a stem cell) eventually transforms into their specific field. It was sent to me by an anonymous reader, so thank you whoever you are.

You'll notice neurology isn't listed here, likely due to space constraints. I'd put it somewhere under internal medicine, with a special "Freaks and Geeks" section leading to my field.

(click to enlarge)

Turkee and Grayvie! Yum!

Alright, my kids school district sent a flyer home with them tonight.

They're having a Thanksgiving lunch next week, and are inviting parents to join their kids at it. The flyer included the following:


"Please join you child during they're regular lunch schedule"

"Includes choice of desert" (Sonoran? Sahara? Gobi?)

"Sliced turkey brest"

Holy Electric Boner Batman!

The Science Marches on Department has brought the following medical research breakthrough to my attention:


Penile Shockwave Therapy Shows Promise For Erectile Dysfunction

Thursday Morning 2:48 a.m.

Today's Quiz

I (and most of my neighborhood) were blasted out of bed this morning.

I was woken by:

A. Phone call from a deranged patient.

B. Phone call from a frantic ER doc.

C. Phone call from a bored nurse.

D. My 8-year-old son Craig, who for whatever reason thought it would be funny to turn on his CD player in the middle of the night, playing "YMCA" at full volume.

(If you guessed "D", congratulations! And I had no idea Mrs. Grumpy and the neighbors even read this).

It's fun to stay at the...