Dear Dr. Cashpay,
I know you don't remember what it was like to be a peon. It's been several years since you last saw an average patient. Nowadays people pay you $5000/year to "belong" to your practice, and then another $400/hour if they actually have to see/speak/text/stand in your radiant aura.
And you normally don't refer to me, anyway. Since I take insurance, I get paid the same amount of money to see one of your
self-important assholes as I do for a decent, but non-wealthy person. So I don't give your patients the priority attention you feel they deserve. But, occasionally, one of them will show up on my doorstep and I'll see them. As did Mr. Rich last week. Unlike most of your peeps, he was quite pleasant.
3 days later:
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Lacey: "Hello, this is Lacey, calling from Dr. Cashpay's office. He wishes to discuss Mr. Rich's case with Dr. Grumpy."
Mary: "Hang on, he's between patients, so let me get him."
Lacey: "No, we don't work that way. He'd like to schedule a 15-30 minute appointment to discuss Mr. Rich by phone."
Mary: "Wait... You're actually trying to schedule a phone call for the doctors to talk?"
Lacey: "That's what we do here."
This was a first for my office. Mary grabbed me, and I got on the phone.
Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, this is Dr. Grumpy."
Lacey: "Dr. Cashpay would like to schedule a 15-30 minute phone appointment to discuss a mutual patient."
Dr. Grumpy: "That's a lot of time. Is Dr. Cashpay going to pay me for this phone call?"
Lacey: "Certainly not. He works for his patients."
Dr. Grumpy: "But he'll charge Mr. Rich for the time he spent on the phone on his behalf, right?"
Lacey: "Of course. And rightfully so."
Dr. Grumpy: "Look. I've get about 5 minutes on the phone between patients right now. So Dr. Cashpay can talk to me now, at no charge. But I really don't have time to set up phone appointments for this sort of thing."
Lacey: "He's with a patient, and doesn't allow interruptions."
Dr. Grumpy: "Then he can try later, and see if I'm available. Show him how to dial. Goodbye."