Thursday, February 17, 2011

Drug 'R Us

Pharmaceuticals are amazing stuff. You can bitch and moan about their costs, side effects, or the number of them you're taking, but what they've done to extend life and improve its quality is truly remarkable.

And for all the bad raps they get, I salute the pharmaceutical industry, and those who work anonymously in labs around the world, to bring us these miracles.

But drug companies also do absolutely weird crap. One thing that's recently driven me nuts is the trend away from drugs of real value toward what I call "drugs of convenience" (DoC).

What is a DoC? Let's take Fukitol. Fukitol is dosed twice-a-day. Taking a pill twice-a-day is something most of us can remember to do. Fukitol costs, say, $2 a pill. So a month of Fukitol is $120 (these numbers are just for example, obviously).

But, like all drugs, Fukitol's patent is going to expire. Then it will become a cheap generic (fukazolamide), and the price will drop to $0.20 per pill. So a month will now cost $12.

About 3 months before the generic comes out, the Fukitol rep shows up at my door. He now carries once-daily Fukitol-ER! Yes, now you only need to take Fukitol-ER once-a-day! And they trumpet this like it's a major freakin' medical breakthrough.

And they no longer carry plain old Fukitol samples. So if I want to start someone on Fukitol, I need to use Fukitol-ER, and when it goes generic in a few months, the patient ain't gonna want twice-daily fukazolamide.

Fukitol-ER is priced at $4 a pill, so a month is, again, $120.

When the generic comes out, the patient's insurance has a choice: pay $12/month for twice-daily fukazolamide, or $120/month for Fukitol-ER. That $108 difference becomes pretty significant if there are, say, 1 million people on the drug.

Now we get into numbers. The patient's insurance co-pay is $5/month for fukazolamide OR $40/month for Fukitol-ER. The insurance company is hoping that by putting more financial burden on Mr. Fukdeprived, he'll decide to go with the cheap generic.

But the drug companies have a counter to this- They've introduced coupons, also called "co-pay cards" or "patient loyalty cards" that give the patient $40 a month off the copay. So by using these things Mr. Fukdeprived gets Fukitol-ER free, while the insurance company is still getting dinged for the rest of the cost.

Now, given my never-ending battles with insurance companies, I don't often sympathize with them. But here I do: the patient is getting the gold mine, and the insurance is getting the shaft. And, of course, this situation increases health care costs for ALL of us, because the insurance has to raise my premiums to pay for the fact that somebody just can't bear the thought of having to take their pill twice-a-day instead of once.

My friends who are pharmacists also hate having to deal with the reimbursement issues on the co-pay cards, but that's another story. If they want to comment on it, they're welcome to.

But the fun doesn't end there. Let's take a real drug: Flexeril (generic name cyclobenzaprine). This muscle relaxant came to market quite a while back, and consequently has been available as a generic for many years. It's taken as a 10mg pill 3 times a day, and the generic is dirt cheap. Like a few pennies per pill.

So roughly 10 years ago, LONG after generic 10mg cyclobenzaprine was commonly available, some enterprising drug company actually was able to patent it AGAIN as a 5mg pill. They claimed it was less sedating at the lower dose, and therefore constituted a whole new drug.

And so it went to market as expensive Flexeril 5mg, because heaven forbid you should actually suggest a patient buy cheap generic 10mg cyclobenzaprine and break them in half!

Eventually the patent wore off on Flexeril 5mg, too, and it went generic, along with the 10mg. So what happened next? Another drug company actually re-patented it at a 7.5mg dose and renamed it Fexmid. I am not making this up.

Still another company has developed a once daily form of it called Amrix. So from 1 drug we now have 4 freakin' patents.

Here's another one: Doxepin is an ancient (by drug standards) antidepressant. It's been around since the 1960's. So it's dirt cheap, and comes in pills of 10mg and up. BUT some pharmaceutical company, after 40 years on the market, has re-patented it as a 3mg or 6mg sleep aid called Silenor. So you can buy 30 days worth of 10mg pills at Target for $4 OR you can pay the same amount per pill for Silenor in a smaller size. Step right up and buy this bridge!

But the fun goes on! One that REALLY chaps me is the bizarre trend of combining 2 old, cheap generics (some of which are even available over-the counter) to create a new, overpriced drug.

Other companies combine an existing generic with a soon-to-be generic as a desperate way of getting a few last bucks out of it. Because heaven knows it's SUCH a serious burden to have to take 2 pills at the same time instead of 1. This list includes Treximet (Imitrex + Naprosyn), Vimovo (Naprosyn + Nexium), Caduet (Norvasc + Lipitor), Vytorin (Zocor + Zetia), Symbyax (Prozax + Zyprexa), and many more.

No matter how much pharmaceutical companies try to portray these drugs as major medical breakthroughs, THEY AREN'T!

I just can't help but think that the money spent on creating them would be better spent on more novel drugs with greater long-term potential (and profit, since I admit that's the key) to help people.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dog owner tip

Okay, marijuana fans, lets remember this:

Dogs have different uses for socks than you do.

So, if you are hiding your stash in a sock, your dog may have a different idea of what to do with it.

Like this guy's did.

Annie's desk, February 15, 2011

Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."

Mr. Alpo: "Yeah, Dr. Grumpy sees my wife for Parkinson's disease."

Annie: "Uh-huh..."

Mr. Alpo: "I need a refill on her medication, and also, does Dr. Grumpy have a dog?"

Annie: "Yeah... Why?"

Mr. Alpo: "Can you ask him what kind of dog food he recommends?"

Annie: "Let's stick with the medication refill. Dog food isn't his field."

Mr. Alpo: "Yeah, but he's a doctor. Doesn't he know about that stuff?"

Annie: "He's not that kind of doctor. Why don't you ask your vet?"

Mr. Alpo: "Why? Does she know Dr. Grumpy?"

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I'm SO freakin' touched

Today a drug rep dropped off this box of chocolates at the office.


Patient quote of the day

"It’s not like things are worse, I mean they are, but it’s not like that, or maybe it is. That isn’t really the whole problem, because it’s only the whole problem when it’s worse, which it isn’t. At least not most days. The whole thing is just there, especially when it isn’t worse, which it is, if you know what I mean."


And no, folks, this person is not being seen for a cognitive problem.

This ain't Fail Blog, but...

Since 3 of you decided to send me some things you'd noticed, here they are:


Reader Donal sent this from Ireland. He says it was a sign in the auto repair shop he was at:







Hillary was at Starbucks, and saw this menu item:






And Laura sent this Spirit Airlines vacation ad, offering great discounts on trips to warmer regions.




Because, after all, who wouldn't want to go south for VD, when it's only $9 each way?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Insanity

At 9:38 this morning the following message was left on Mary's voice mail:

"Hi, this is Mrs. Fried, and I need to make an appointment. Please call me back at 867-5309."

So Mary wrote down the number, and called the lady. No one answered, so she set it aside to try again later.

At 11:45, a little over 2 hours later, they called back. "Hi, this is Mrs. Fried again. My schedule is busy, so I don't think I'll be able to come in at all. Can you cancel the appointment that I haven't made?"

Early Monday morning in the ER

Dr. Grumpy: "You've been taking Nostroke since I saw you last month, correct?"

Mr. Lacunar: "No, I decided not to start it."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why did you do that?"

Mr. Lacunar: "I wanted to see if I'd have another stroke."

Dr. Grumpy: "You did."

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It just sucks

While I'm not planning on making this the "I hate the words artisan/artisanal blog", it sure as hell has been that way recently.

Here's one from my reader Lindsey. She says it was at Walmart.

To make matters worse, I just ordered flowers for Mrs. Grumpy for tomorrow, and received a confirmation email reassuring me that they'll be arranged "by an artisanal florist".

Sigh.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

My readers write

From the wonderful world of law enforcement, my reader Officer Cynical sent in this story yesterday:

"This morning I arrested a woman for DUI, after she drove off the street and hit a tree at 7:30 a.m. She was quite drunk, and thought it was 11:00 at night and that she was going to her overnight shift at Walmart.

Anyway, once in the little ER exam room for blood draws and jail clearance, my partner said to her: "Doris, this may take a while. Why don't you have a seat?"

She said "I can't sit down. I have a turd in my pants."

Friday, February 11, 2011

Oh, for hell's sake

Even the menu at Local Theater's Friday Night Kids Show isn't safe.

(click to enlarge)




Although personally I think charging $13 for a freakin' turkey sandwich and bag of Doritos is a bigger atrocity than overuse of the word.

Thursday evening, 7:10 p.m.

We have a clock by the front sign-in sheet. It's part of a kitschy ceramic black & white statue made to look like some type of cartoonish farm animal. I have no idea who bought it originally. I've never paid it much attention.

Last night, just after 7:00, I got called that a patient needed to talk to me.


Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Miss Tangent: "Hi! I was there earlier today, for my arm pain. I brought my sister to the appointment. Do you remember?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes. What can I do for you?"

Miss Tangent: "I need your help. My sister and I have been arguing since the appointment, and we need to know if that clock statue thing on your front desk is supposed to be a horse or a cow?"

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Pop quiz

Okay, folks, today we're going to look at some pictures (not those kinds of pictures, get your minds out of the gutter). Take out your #2 pencils. After we're done pass your paper to the person behind you for grading.

If you need a better look, click on the pictures to enlarge them.


1. This picture is from:




(A). A promotional piece for Extreme Cage Fighting, 2011

(B). A "don't litter, or else" public service announcement.

(C). A notice not to pick up hitchhikers.

(D). The Halloween costume your kid wanted last year.

(E). An advertisement for a narcotic pain killer.



2. This is:




(A). A polar bear. What kind of stupid question is that?

(B). A commercial for the new show on Animal Planet.

(C). What are those red lines... Wait a minute! Do polar bears really have a tail covering their butt? I better google that.

(D). An ad for a new treatment for shingles pain.

(E). A and D.




3. This is:




(A). An ad for a rustic fishing supplies shop.

(B). The symbol for the new "Jesus loves you and your aquarium" campaign.

(C). From a fish conservation group.

(D). The new logo for Osteichthyes Bank & Trust.

(E). In an ad for a muscle relaxant.




4. This makes me think of:





(A). A promo for "Beauty and the Beast"

(B). Do Halloween and Valentines fall on the same day this year?

(C). OMG! Simba killed a florist!

(D). Aslan is "in the mood."

(E). Yet another ad for an expensive painkiller.




5. This next picture is:





(A). That guy you owe money to.

(B). An ad for World Championship Wrestling

(C). Wow. Bobby Knight sure looks different these days.

(D). The neighborhood chiropractor.

(E). An ad for the same narcotic as picture #1.


In case you didn't guess, (E) is the answer to all of them. And no, I'm not in marketing. I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER where they came up these pictures. But I want to hire the guy in #6 to work as my office bouncer. And yes, polar bears really do have small tails.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Healthy Lifestyle

Miss Tuber: "I try to stay active and keep in shape."

Dr. Grumpy: "How do you do that?"

Miss Tuber: "I watch reality shows on TV."
 
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