Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Turing test



Guy in suit comes in and stands at the front. Mary was tied up on the phone, and Pissy's staff had run out to pick up lunch. So I walked over to deal with him.

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, can I help you?"

Suit guy: "HI! I'm your rep for the all-new Ginsu surgery center! Are YOU" (points finger at me) "Dr. Grumpy?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah, but I don't do..."

Suit guy: "I'm here to get YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "to start doing YOUR outpatient procedures at the all-new Ginsu surgery center! What kind of outpatient surgical procedures do you do that we can help YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "with?"

Dr. Grumpy: "None, actually, I'm a neurologist and..."

Suit guy: "Of course you do! ALL doctors have procedures! Which ones do YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "do?"


(I look around. I'm alone. I hear Mary, with Pissy's returned secretary, out in the hall trying not to crack up in hysterics)


Dr. Grumpy: "EEG's. But those aren't..."

Suit guy: "We don't do THOSE at the all-new Ginsu surgery center, but we can help YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "achieve better results on your outpatient laparoscopic appendectomies, gall bladder removals, and orthopedic arthroscopies. Why don't YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "give the all-new Ginsu surgery center a try? I bet YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "would be pleasantly surprised at what we can do for YOU, Dr. Grumpy" (points finger at me) "and your patients!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but you're wasting your time here. I'm a neurologist. I don't do surgery of any kind."


Long pause


Suit guy: "None at all?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Zero. Nada. Zilch."

Suit guy: "Okay, so what do you, um, Dr. Grumpy" (sort-of points finger at me) "as a, uh neurologist doctor do, exactly?"

Dr. Grumpy: "I sit at a desk all day and try to look smart."


Longer pause


Suit guy: "Um, I mean... uh..."


He left.

25 comments:

Hildy said...

So that's what you do! I did wonder.

Packer said...

Oh, so kind of like a lawyer ?

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!

Anonymous said...


You totally forgot about your Yaks!
Don't your Yaks ever need surgery..?
He probably could have helped there.

Anonymous said...

You were way more professional about it than how I would have handled this...

ndenunz said...

Why don't you offer to do a lobotomy on him?

Ms. Donna said...

Er, ndenunz, I think that is classified as surgery. But maybe DR. G practices on Yaks. Anyway, Dr. G, thanks for the giant BWAAAAHAHAHAHAH that came from behind my computer.

a.generic doc said...

You don't just sit behind a desk and look smart. Sometimes you drink Diet Coke and sometimes you get up and hit people with hammers.

Brian said...

Not just hit people with hammers, hit people with fancy> hammers

Mage said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

It sounds like he could've used some friendly advice about 'Just imagine what I look like on TV' syndrome.

John Woolman said...

I am reminded of the recurrent problem of 40 years ago when I was a resident in neurology being paged by someone looking for the on call urology resident. When I was sure the caller wasn’t a patient my usual response was “Are you taking the piss”?

Anonymous said...

I woud have poked his chest I think....

Moose said...

You could have just said, "I'm a neurologist. I'm neurotic."

Then crossed your eyes, stuck out your tongue, stuck your thumbs in your ears, waggled your fingers, and given him a raspberry.

Write this down for the next time this happens.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you just need to get their attention. Try saying something like, "Point that thing at me once more and I'll bite it off."

Anonymous said...

Priceless reply!

Astrolabe Silverwax said...

"You should have seen how they told us to do it in our sales training. It wasn't a finger, believe me."

Anonymous said...

So THAT'S what neurologists actually do! Have been going to one or another for years, and am still left scratching my head at times, (but NOT pointing a finger at anyone or anything). Ah yes, "symptom management." The desk thing though, kind of IS like a lawyer. Clearly, this man must have been new at his job and needs to brush up on medical specialties and cutters vs. non cutters.

Kaz at www.building-enclosure.com said...

Like all neurologists, I read people’s minds. Do you want me to read yours? It would only cost you $20.
Sorry, no readings at alll. It must be completely empty...

clairesmum said...

Sales reps are all about the sizzle....and the sale....but not so much about the product they are selling....and clearly this guy hasn't learned how to maximize the return on his investment of time (targeting appropriate MDs, and providing great meals/snacks/swag).

Would make a great SNL skit though...Ginsu knife neurosurgery.....maybe that is the way to cut out the part of the brain that makes some folks such convincing "salesmen" in the world of politics!

evodevo said...

Always Be Closing !!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like, just maybe, Mary, Annie & Dr. Pissy’s staff set you, Dr. Grumpy (pointing my finger at you), up for a belated April Fools joke. And, you know what, they sure got you (pointing my finger at you) good. I guess the only other question that needs to be asked, Dr. Grumpy (pointing my finger at you), which finger was doing the pointing?


PS: Just wondering if you’ve heard much about the new migraine drug CGRP. I believe it’s the one that’s administered as an injection monthly? Have you heard good things about it or are the hyping it up too much? I suspect it’s going to be super expensive and most insurance companies won’t pay for at least ten years (UGH). Just thought I’d ask. Are you aware of a decent website you could direct me to that you think is reliable; that, would be awesome. If you’d rather not get involved, let me know and I completely understand.

Have an awesome weekend.

Koos van den Hout said...

You broke his script!

Anonymous said...

You don't even pick at scabs or remove your own slivers? C'mon....

Glen said...

EMG/nerve conduction studies are sometimes done at freestanding surgical centers. The reimbursement is different from when done in the office (though I have no idea how much).
It might make sense for someone who lacked office space for a treatment room.

 
Locations of visitors to this page