Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Turing test

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Voice: "Hello, I'm calling from Major Illness Insurance to verify your office information."

Mary: "Okay."

Voice: "Is this Dr. Grumpy's office?"

Mary: "Yes."

Voice: "And is this the correct phone number to call Dr. Grumpy at?"

Mary: "Yes."

Voice: "What is the correct number for your office?"

Mary: "Uh, this one. You just called me on it."

Voice: "Please verify."

Mary: "867-5309"

Voice: "Correct, thank you. Do the doctor and staff speak English?"

Mary: "Yes."

Voice: " Any other languages?"

Mary: "No."

Voice: "Does Dr. Grumpy see patients?"

Mary: "Of course."

Voice: "Is that yes or no?"

Mary: "Yes."

Voice: "What kind of doctor is Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "He's a neurologist."

Voice: "Does he specialize in neurology?"

Mary: "Yes."

Voice: "Does he see neurology patients?"

This went on for another 10 minutes.


Liz said...

Does he work in the Department of Redundancy Department?

Anonymous said...

I think I would have hung up.Sounds like a prank call.

Mary said...

No, it was real. We get calls like this 1-2 times a month from different insurance companies.

bobbie said...

Mary DEFINITELY gets a raise for handling this one!!!

tbunni said...

Yeah, and its always a recorded line, which keeps me from quite as snarky as I'd like to be. Kudos, BTW, for the earworm. I haven't had that one for a while, so I'll be boppin' to that today. It really messes up the youngsters I work with, which is fine by me.

Mage said...

That's one for the books.

Packer said...

3 thoughts on the subject

Gees that is exciting, I only get calls that promise to put me on the first page of Google, whatever that is.

But really, Go home and tell Crain and his miscreant buddies to knock off the crank calls

The economy really sucks if someone would pursue this as an occupation

Loren Pechtel said...

Sounds like they employ idiots who can't be trusted to do anything more than blindly follow a script.

Ms. Donna said...

I think Jenny will be mad at you AND Mary.

(Google 867-5309, kids)

warmsocks said...

Patients get this, too:
Voice: I’m calling to make an appointment to call you.
Me: You just did call me.
Voice: Yes. I called to make an appointment to get some information from you. When would be a good time?
Me: I’m available right now.
Voice: Oh, no. I need to make an appointment to call you tomorrow. We need to get a complete medical history from you for your upcoming procedure.
Me: I gave that information to the surgeon yesterday. He said he’d fax it to you.
Voice: Well, I can ask him to fax it to us, but I really need to make an appointment to get this information directly from you.
Me: Let me get this straight. You’re phoning me from the surgical center today to make an appointment to phone me tomorrow to get information from me that I gave to the surgeon yesterday? Even though I’m available right now, you’re not allowed to ask me now; you must wait until tomorrow even though my schedule is already full?
Voice: Yes, ma’am. That’s our protocol.

Elli said...

Insurance companies will boast that they spend 88% of their revenues on patient care. They don't say of that 88% that is returned to providers, how much is eaten by the cost of dealing with insurance companies?

Stacey Gordon said...

Sounds like a non native English speaker trained to listen for very specific words. Or, a pretty sophisticated "bot".

K said...

Sometimes you have to ask the question in three or four different ways before you get to the truth!

"Any chance your dog that is vomiting and having diarrhea got into anything he shouldn't?"

"Oh no, never!"

"Does he get into the trash?"

"Well no, not really, unless we leave it out where he can get to it, then yes."

"Does he get table food?"

"Oh no, never, except when we have company over or he just finishes the last little bite of whatever we're eating, but that doesn't count."

"Since the fourth of July was just yesterday, any chance that he maybe got some bar-be-q and/or trash?"

"Well, sure, we gave him our chicken wings from the grill and he was licking the grease from the ground... why, do you think that's why he's vomiting and having diarrhea?"

Sometimes, the department of redundancy department is necessary!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like paper work the Insurance company was required to have on file by the government to have Dr. Grumpy be an approved provider.

Me said...

And now we know Dr. Grumpy's real first name is Jenny!

Zed said...

Mary has the patience of a saint
The Medic Mind

Anonymous said...

Warmsocks made me burst out laughing even more. I think that the person that called Dr Grumpy was trying to get all the variations of Mary's voice to us in a nefarious plot. Too bad they never could get 'female, irritated' out of Mary!! She's too cool. Way cool.

Bruce Nauman said...

I practice neurology. You practice neurology. We practice neurology. This is practicing neurology.

clairesmum said...

And so this is how the insurance companies gather information for their (generally incorrect) provider databases....that are so frustrating to navigate that patients give up trying to find a specialist or even a new PCP and just settle for mediocre, minimal care. Yet another strategy to decrease the money the insurance company actually has to spend on patient care.

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