Monday, September 5, 2016

Holiday reruns

Here's this memory from 2010:


The twins (Craig and Marie) routinely beat the crap out of each other. This is such a normal occurrence at our house that we just ignore it unless at least one liter of blood is spilled.

So after I got home from work today, the phone rang.

Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"

Mrs. Playground: "Is this the father of Marie Grumpy?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes."

Mrs. Playground: "I'm the playground supervisor at Wingnut Elementary School, and I have to notify you that Marie was involved in a playground fight today, with a boy at school."

Dr. Grumpy (glancing out the window at the twins gouging each others eyes out on the trampoline): "Is she in trouble?"

Mrs. Playground: "Yes, she has to miss recess tomorrow. She and the boy suffered some minor scrapes, so I need to notify the parents of both children."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, thank you."


I hung up the phone, looked at Mrs. Grumpy, and began counting. "5-4-3-2..." As soon as I got to "1", the phone rang. I bit my tongue, hard.


Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"

Mrs. Playground: "Is this the father of Craig Grumpy?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes."

Mrs. Playground: "I'm the playground supervisor at Wingnut Elementary School, and I have to notify you that Craig was involved in a playground fight today, with a girl at school..."

14 comments:

redshopekevin said...

So which boy did Marie fight with, and which girl did Craig fight with?

Anonymous said...

right hand, meet left hand.........

Karena said...

Aww poor Dr. Grumpy lol. At least they're keeping it in the family and once they're 18, their records are sealed.

Have a good one :)

Mrs. Widget said...

Have you considered handcuffing them together?

Liz said...

I'd like to recommend the get-along shirt. You put them both in one of Dr. Grumpys old shirts until they figure out how to get along. Or until one throttles the other unconscious, whichever comes first.

tbd88 said...

Is that one liter of blood each, or total? It makes a difference!

Anonymous said...

Dr Grumpy....Please, please, please tell the story about when Marie and Craig got out of school early and were locked out of the house. I've told that story quite a few times and everyone thinks it's funny.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is that playground supervisor isn't too smart - didn't she notice the same last name or at least the same phone number for both kids?!

Packer said...

Don't ever have kids.

Anonymous said...

Good grief is the school that clueless? Hope you thought about changing schools after that display of ineptitude. I mean really the school didn't put it together that the kids were siblings when the parental contact number was the same!

seabrooksr said...

All I can say is I hope your last name is Campbell, or Miller, or Brown or something.

Shash said...

I'd worry about the education your kids are getting if the caller couldn't put the story and the phone number together. Great story though.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was a turbo-charged dual personality that was out on the playground that day, taking names and counting limbs.

Anonymous said...

Happens to me all the time with alumni association calls. They call give their introductory spiel ask for me, we talk. Then the person calls back and I tell them their introductory spiel... they usually figure they dialed the wrong number until I say I'm taking the phone to my husband. You would think the matching last names would be a clue...but I've worked that phone bank myself. Slogging through a list isn't that conducive the thought.

 
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