Friday, August 12, 2016

Fone Fun

The home phone rings.


Dr. Grumpy: “Hello?”

Accent Guy: “Hello, I am calling from Bank of Grumpyville technical support, and I need some information about…”

Dr. Grumpy: “I didn’t call technical support.”

Accent Guy: “Well, I am returning a call about a trouble ticket. I need your BofG…”

Dr. Grumpy: “Nurse Grumpy, did you call BofG technical support?”

Nurse Grumpy: “No.”

Dr. Grumpy: “Sorry, you must have a wrong number.”

Accent Guy: “Well, what we do is Windows technical support, so I guess there’s an issue with your Windows log-in for BofG. Can I have your computer…”

Dr. Grumpy: “No one here uses Windows.”

Accent Guy: “I’m sorry, did I say Windows? I meant it’s a Mac issue and I need your…”

 
As much as I felt like stringing him on for fun, I hung up.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sure, can you please hold while I get that information?

Set the phone down and go to lunch.

Alternatively, a loud whistle?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a gull batter problum.

redshopekevin said...

They have that in America? It's common in Singapore.

Anonymous said...

I once told the windows support guy that I didn't have windows on my computer because if I did I'd have certainly put drapes on them. 'No these are not the kind of windows you drape' he explained. 'How about shades? Would I just put shades on them?' This went on for probably 5 minutes before I got bored. They just don't hang up.

Anonymous said...

The more you string him along, the less time he has to scam other people.

Anonymous said...

It's so sad how many fall for these scams! My aunt/uncle got a call as a part of the grandparent scam! The problem: not only did they use the wrong last name of the "incarcerated" grandchild (used his cousin's last name), said child was out with them @ the time of the call!

Yoko Drāno said...

"Look, never mind where I'm from. The point is, can we cut to the chase and you just give me your goddamn credit card number and SSN and download my ransomware already? I have a daily quota here, and you're wasting my time."

Packer said...

It wasn't windows technical support after all, it was Prince Nabela from Nigeria who needs you to serve as an intermediary on a real estate transaction in Grumpyville and he needs to wire a million into your account for which you will received 100K , just give him the account info, because his great uncle in Austria has just died and left you 600K. But it is tied up in probate and they need 4000 to release the money to you, just wire it through Canada of course.
Man how did you get to be so lucky.

Packer said...

PS your grandson has been arrested in Orlando Fla after a dust up with
Minnie Mouse at D world, wire his bail of 3500 to the following address.

bobbie said...

The noive!!

Anonymous said...

does anyone else miss having "paper pirates" to use as a cat toy?

Anonymous said...

"Did I say Mac? I meant Linux. I'm from the customer service department of the Linux Corporation."

Just Me said...

"IRS people" are way worse! If you don't call them back they are going to call the magistrate. Um, yeah, I'm not calling you.

McDuckVet said...

This is classic. I wish I had this fellow's quick wit (and time to kill):

https://www.ted.com/talks/james_veitch_this_is_what_happens_when_you_reply_to_spam_email?language=en

Anonymous said...

You guys are much better at handling these calls than I am!

GUY: Are you interested in switching phone service?
ME: We, uh, don't use phones.
GUY: ...
ME: ...

Moose said...

You know, that could have actually been Mark Mbutu from Namibia. THEY NEED YOUR FONDUE SETS.

Anonymous said...

I always appreciated this prank by Tom Mabe, stringing along a telemarketer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvJQxgtJW94

Unknown said...

Talking to telemarketers and phone scammers is a great social activity for your dementia patients who retain verbal fluency but are amazingly random and repetitive....let them handle these calls. Gives them a chance to help out for a while, and drives the calls crazy...so maybe they take the number off the call list.

Anonymous said...

I recently started handoing the phone to my toddler when they call. Works quite nicely. Maybe you could place the phone next to your office fish?

 
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