Thursday, April 23, 2015

Dinner theater

This was left on the office voicemail yesterday:

Him: "No one is answering."

Her: "I heard. It says they're helping someone else."

Him: "Should I leave a message? Or call back later?"

Her: "Just call back later. Did you find that recipe?"

Him: "Yes, I emailed the link to you."

Her: "That one sucked. You can't make lemon chicken like that!"

Him: "How do you know? Have you ever tried?"

Her: "No, but anyone with half a brain can see it was crappy recipe. You'd need more chicken than that."

Him: "It made perfect sense. I went to cooking school, you didn't. Trust me."

Her: "Really? Have you ever used it? All that tuition, and I don't think you've set foot in the kitchen except to make chips-in-a-bowl with a side of beer."

Him: "Oh, like you're capable of anything more complex than eggs."

Her: "At least I know what a good lemon chicken recipe looks like. You don't."

Him: "Okay, what?"

Her: "It should have, um, chicken, and, uh, lemon."

Him: "It had both."

Her: "It didn't have enough chicken."

Him: "Fine. Why don't we just do take-out?"

Her: "Whatever. Why don't you call the neurologist back and see if you can get through now?"



Ivan Ilyich said...

No wonder he's having headaches.

Packer said...

Seinfeld was a good show.

bunkywise said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a marriage like that. I call it "Good Communication Skills". And I make an amazing lemon chicken!

Anonymous said...

I think the poor man should make himself some beer-in-a-bowl with a side of tequila

The Condign Gentleman said...

If you have half a brain, can't you substitute that for some of the chicken?

Anonymous said...

So . . . Did you have a good lemon chicken recipe ready when he called back?

Hattie said...

I'd check their meds.

Anonymous said...

It sounds as if she wanted more chicken. Maybe not so much lemon? What is this business with hamburgers and steak? It was chicken, man. She wanted more chicken, less lemon, and no mention of steak. It's Friday night, for Pete's sake. A nice fillet of salmon with a slice of lemon.

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