Mr. Gad: "Hi, I saw Dr. Grumpy a few years ago, and am worried about my records there."
Annie: "What's the problem?"
Mr. Gad: "Well, I'm concerned they might affect a legal action I'm in, and would like to change them."
Annie: "We can't change records, sir. If you feel something is incorrect you can send us a letter and we'll note it in your chart, or you can make an appointment to discuss it further with the doctor."
Mr. Gad: "That won't do. I need you to change my diagnosis."
Annie: "We can't do that."
Mr. Gad: "Okay... How about if you shred my chart and destroy any scheduling records, bills, and whatever that says I was there? I'll pay you, in cash, for your time."
Annie: "I'm sorry, sir, but that's illegal, and we can't do that."
Mr. Gad: "Don't you believe in 'the customer is always right'?"
Annie: "That's not the issue here."
Mr. Gad: "Thanks for nothing." (hangs up)