This holiday weekend, while on call, I was phoned by a lady who has a daughter with severe epilepsy. Her regular neurologist had already given the family a supply of DiaStat for emergencies.
So when they called to tell me the seizures were out of control, I had her mother give her a dose of DiaStat, without benefit. After I told her to give a 2nd dose, I got called again.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Mom Seizure: "Hi, I gave Lisa the 2nd dose like you told me to, then I gave a 3rd dose of DiaStat on my own, and she's still seizing."
Dr. Grumpy: "You're going to have to bring her to the ER, and I'll meet you there. I can't safely give her any more outpatient medication."
Mom Seizure: "I understand, but is there anything else you could do? We really don't want to take her to the hospital. Is there another medication? Or another way of giving DiaStat?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Nothing I'm comfortable with, she needs to get IV medication, and further testing, and..."
Dr. Grumpy: "What did you mean by "is there another way to give DiaStat?"
Mom Seizure: "Well, the instructions say to give it rectally. I could try doing that."
Dr. Grumpy: "What the... you haven't been giving it to her rectally?"
Mom Seizures: "No. I've been putting it in her ear."
Dr. Grumpy: "IN HER EAR???!!!!!!!"
Mom Seizure: "Well, since seizures start in the brain, I figured squirting it in her ear would get it there faster. I was afraid putting it in her rear end would be too far away from the brain."
Dr. Grumpy: "You need to bring her to ER."