Thursday, September 26, 2013

Dear Job Recruiter,

Thank you for this ad I received in the mail yesterday.




Let me give you a few pointers:

1. Neuro-Hospitalists are just neurologists, like me. The only difference is that they only work in hospitals. Granted, I don't call myself a Neuro-Officist. Probably because some idiot would pronounce it as "Neuro-Orifice."And calling myself (more accurately) a Neuro-Hospital-Officist just sounds silly.

My point here is that we don't wear surgical hairnets. Or gowns. Or gloves. I suppose if you worked in a hospital you could wear scrubs all the time, but there's no point to the other surgical accoutrements. I do know one Neuro-Hospitalist (I'm not sure it needs to be capitalized either, but you started it) who didn't match into neurosurgery, but 15 years later still plays make-believe by rounding in scrubs with a surgical hat & booties. But that's not normal.

Also, if you're going out of the way to wear sterile surgical gear and look official, you just contaminated your gloves by touching the film.

2. Holding up X-ray films is so 1990's. It's all on a computer monitor now. If the hospital you represent is still using films, that's not a good selling point.

3. It's a freakin' X-ray of a skull. Now, I know you're just a job recruiter, and likely grabbed some stock footage, but this isn't what neurologists look at. We look at MRI's and CT's, NOT PLAIN X-RAYS!!! Especially of a skull. While the skull is of relevance to neurosurgeons and ENT's, my tribe is more concerned with what's inside it. Unless this hospital is still using pneumoencephalograms as a diagnostic tool, a neurologist won't be looking at skull films.

4. If a plain X-ray of a skull is the best neuroimaging this hospital can do, they need a lot of things more than they need a Neuro-Hospitalist.

Yours truly,

Ibee Grumpy, M.D.

47 comments:

RSDS said...

Welcome back, Dr. Grumpy, we missed you!

You have my condolences for whatever the emergency was.

That ad writer should have done more research, before the ad campaign.

Anonymous said...

Great to have you back, Doc!!

Mama D said...

Welcome back. Hope you're doing better...

PediNP said...

But neuro-hospitalist sounds just so much more specialized than neurologist!

awesomesauciness said...

Welcome back, Doc! Am I the only person who remembers when everyone wore scrubs regardless of their avocation? I think it started as a Halloween thing, but then people thought it made them look cool and doctor-ish. The hair nets and booties, though...not so much.

True (very sad and tragic) story - I was just going to run to the store, okay drive to the store one night when while waiting to exit my subdivision I suddenly caught a glimpse of a human flying through the air. Now, that's not something one normally sees so I immediately knew something was amiss. I pulled my car off to the side of the road, put on the flashers, grabbed the cell to call 9-1-1 and got out to see if there was anything I could do to help the poor gentleman now lying in a crumpled heap in the middle of the road. I was not wearing scrubs, but two other people who'd stopped to help were. I'm also not a medical person, but I figured that one of them must be. When I asked they both raised their hands in the air and said, "Nope, not me." before quickly retreating from the gruesome scene. It wouldn't have mattered in this case as the man had suffered fatal head trauma, but I am glad this practice finally went the way of big bangs and parachute pants. Less confusion for me.

Anonymous said...

Yay! Glad to have you back!

Jennifer McDonald said...

Welcome back, IG! Glad to know I have your blogs to once more look forward to in the morning with my tea :)

@awesomesauciness: I used to wear scrub pants to school way back in...grade 8-ish. That was back when you were SUPER COOL if you wore scrub pants. And I doubt anyone would have mistaken me for a doctor ;)

Andy Syms said...

ROTFL!!!

Welcome back Ibee. Hope things are going better on the home front. Great to have you back blogging.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Dr. Grumpy. Missed you.

--Queen Anne's Lace

bunkywise said...

We do have a Neuro-Hospitalist here at our hospital and he is a somewhat roly-poly, very well dressed Afro-American gentleman with the unfortunate name of Dr. Penix. I just wanted to share his name. The rest of it is not very interesting, I know. :-)

Ami said...

So just based on the photo and your description, it sounds like all I need to do is just... apply for the job!

But I work with children. I spend a lot of time working on their little heads, really.

I wonder if I should start wearing scrubs to work.

I'm glad to see you back.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back. My sympathies for the turmoil within the Grumpy family. I hope that the dust has settled an that you are able to return to a level I normalcy.

My spouse is a neurosurgeon. He doesn't really spend too much time looking at plain films of the face, either. He also prefers suits and bow ties to scrubs an only wears the blue pajamas when he is operating. He refuses to be seen outside of the hospital with someone in scrubs, ESPECIALLY and equipment rep - that just douchey.

Best,
AA

Packer said...

Gee, I thought he would be funnier when he came back.

Anonymous said...

Me thinks the x-rays pictured are pre-1990's. More like 1960s. The clipped corners on the films say to me that these images were hung on hangers to dip into the developer/fixer tank. Because the hangers left a sharp dimple, the corners were clipped (though usually with a round clipper, so these must be really old).

Anonymous said...

Dr. GRUMPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed your blog just a weeeee little bit. It helps me keep the insanity of medicine in check with a chuckle.

Stacey Gordon said...

Welcome back.
The nicely, neatly trimmed corners of the film are also bizarre. Looks more like they were thinking of scrap booking those films...
Marketing/sales folks never get it right...But the sad part is, they also never ASK anyone, about things they have no clue about.

Nathan Geissel said...

Welcome back Dr. Grumpy! I know I have never commented, but I faithfully read your blog. Hope that everything is back to normal for you, best wishes from Oregon!

bobbie said...

Peace, m'friend ~

Ms. Donna said...

Let me second, third and fourth the "welcome back" messages. Hope all is as well as it can be right now, and that you are OK.

Re the N-H position. Hospitalists are "in" now, and all the tribes are getting into the act. I have met some of the hospitalist tribe and what they do is good. But they are going to get lost in the clutter.

As for the X-rays, yeah, I wondered about "film." Crikey, even your local rag newspaper uses digital now! I have not souped film in years!

But films of skulls still says "medicine" to the ad tribe (may they be blessed with boils and warts.)

mary said...

Welcome back IBG.

ladydyani said...

Is... is it just me? Is that even a human skull? Am I looking at this wrong? That seems kind of... skewed?

wrf3 said...

Welcome back, Dr. G. Hope all is well.

Stacey Gordon said...

It was Ed, the office fish, right? Is he still with us?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Dr. Grumpy. We missed you.

My endocrinologist must have heard you were back because she had iTunes going in the waiting room this afternoon, and it proceeded to play three Christmas songs in a row. I can only presume that was her little homage to your return to your blog.

tbunni said...

We missed you! Hopefully things are better now.

@ladydyani - I agree the x-ray on the right looks like a chimp/ape skull, correct? Or am I just not seeing it right? The jaw protrudes more than most humans, or at least more than Frank Burns from M.A.S.H. (I still miss ol' Ferret Face)

Please tell me they are really looking for a neuro hospitalist who moonlights in primate surgery...and your expertise is in yaks.

Kim said...

Welcome back. :)

I was just at Panera Bread, enjoying a dinner of Autumn Squash Soup that tasted a lot like pumpkin pie without the whipped cream or crust, when I thought of you. Why did I think of you? I saw a guy in scrubs. I also couldn't help but overhear the conversation he had with some random woman who asked him what kind of doctor he was and he replied that he was a general surgeon, so maybe the scrubs made since...if he had been at work. He was at Panera, though. If it were me, even if I was just on a break and grabbing lunch or dinner, I think I'd probably cut my break short by a few minutes and change out of the scrubs when leaving work and back into them upon my return. But then, when I was in high school back in the stone ages, I worked at a place called The Great Hotdog Experience, and during lunch I'd wander across the mall to Taco Bell in my Hotdog Experience outfit and order my taco. So I guess maybe it's not that weird to wear scrubs to Panera.

a.generic doc said...

While the job would allow you to simplify your wardrobe, you can't take the job. There wouldn't be nearly enough insane incidents to keep all your blog readers happy!

lbparker said...

Welcome back, Doc! I'm with ladydyani and tbunni--the pic on the right looks more simian than human.

gloria p said...

Welcome back, Dr. G. I hope all your problems have been solved.

RehabRB said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the funky looking skull on the right.

Hope things are going better, Grumpy.

At least you can thank your lucky stars that you have no need to be wearing a scrub hat in your office.

Anonymous said...

Dang, and I thought you wore all that get-up all the time. Someone needs to apply to that job...! Recruiters need some serious pointers if they are working out of stock photos from the 198o's...

Glen said...

I have always wondered what the "Peer Review" doctors at the MRI precertification companies do during off time.
Thank you, Dr. Grumpy for letting us know that those distinguished docs work for recruiting services. I would not have guessed that.

Glen said...

I have often wondered what the "Peer Review" doctors working for the MRI Pre-certification companies do in their spare time.

Thanks to you, Dr. Grumpy for letting us know that they work for recruiting companies. I never would have guessed that.

Anonymous said...

Someone else already said it, but those x-rays are ANCIENT hand-developed relics of at least 50 years ago. Well before the advent of disposable surgical bonnets. So maybe you'll be able to travel time in a TARDIS if you take the job.

Anonymous said...

I also like the digital Matrix graphics photoshopped on the x-ray and the back of the guy's head.

Pierre said...

Happy you are back Doctor. We were all missing your post. We are with you to hep you cope with your sorrows.

Pierre said...

Welcome back Dr Grumpy.

I hope you feel a bit better

Anonymous said...

When I first started work in the hospital, (many years ago) pharmacists did not have any particular reason to show up in surgery (other than as a patient, and at that, possibly, not alert enough to think like a pharmacist), so someone called for something STAT in surgery and on way through the locker room I heard the surgeon yelling, "Why are there never scrub pants my size? All these are way too large. Why don't I just wear a large top, and skip the pants?" And, someone yelling back, "Did you shave your legs?"

Anonymous said...

Funny, I saw that exact same picture in an ad for a position as a chef.

Whelk Lad! said...

"We'd like you to come downtown and look at some mug shots to see if you can identify the skeleton who mugged you last night."

Anonymous said...

the x-rays are human. Remember that when you see heads, you are seeing all sorts of fat and flesh and hair over top -- more than what you might expect. so the skull without flesh looks a little different.

Anonymous said...

Media relations might say, "Don't get all huffy about our busy pneumoencephalogram suite! Our facility is expanding in order that we may serve you better. We're adding more torches and more cave walls on which to paint patient charts."

Anonymous said...

OMFG, I HATE CAPTCHAS. Ok, either this post is going to end up 5 times in a row or not at all most likely. But I haven't gotten the message that my post was sent yet, and frequently my posts don't show up and I think thats because I got the captchas wrong and they were never actually sent. But I've even tried listening to the captcha and can't tell what the F they said, it seems to say multiple things at once. Maybe I'm a robot and don't know it??

The skulls look normal to me.

People that aren't Drs still wear scrubs. Back in 2005 I worked at a hospital in the kitchen and was required to wear scrubs to work. Everyone had to wear scrubs, even the janitors. The colors of the scrubs dictated what your position was. Kitchen staff wore dark navy scrubs, Janitors wore these brown/tan looking scrubs.

I love scrubs! I still have my scrub pants from that job and wear them as pajamas, as well as a couple pair of scrub pants I bought from goodwill. They're higher quality ones than the basic hospital scrubs, all mine are Dickies brand and a nice shape with flare leg. They make the best pajama/house pants because you don't have to change clothes to go run an errand. I don't have or wear any scrub tops though. I used to use the tops from work for dying my hair but they must have all been thrown away or lost by now.

ladydyani said...

Ok, Dr. G., we need you to tell us. Human or no?

Anonymous said...

ladydyani - those are human skulls. Trust me. I've x-rayed enough of them to know what a human looks like.

gin4407 said...

Welcome back, Grumpy!

 
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