Thursday, December 27, 2012

Damn, you caught us

Dr. Grumpy: "It looks like the hematologist wants to do a bone marrow biopsy to find out..."

Mr. Gammopathy: "I'm not doing that bullshit."

Dr. Grumpy: "May I ask why?"

Mr. Gammopathy: "I know the games you people play. What you really do is inject my healthy marrow with lymphoma cells, thereby tying me into the medical-military-industrial complex that the government is running."

18 comments:

Rosie said...

Your patients would make a great comic strip...

Mallory said...

So that's how you get lymphoma.

Sneaky bastards.

C said...

Darn-she's smert.

Mary said...

Might be related to a local guy here. He was convinced that the company physician and the neuro that did his back surgery where in cahoots and planted a chip in his brain. Apparently, they did this so that they could track him, control him and fire him.

His final hoorah was showing up at his kids'elementary school with a couple of guns so that no one could stop him from taking his kids. He was only supposed to have supervised visits. Imagine that! When they arrested him he was still blaming the doctors.

Moose said...

The patient forgot the space aliens.

Never forget the space aliens. They get angry when they're left out.

MSgt B said...

Dood!

When was I in your office?

PediNP said...

I once had a parent refuse a flu vaccine, telling me it was a government plot to inject us with something--altho he was unable to tell me what that substance was...

bobbie said...

Yet another turf to Psych...

Anonymous said...

THERE ARE MORE OF "THEM" THAN OF US....

Packer said...

My attitude suddenly became whatever due to phone call the other day when guy was going on about the transference chip that was installed in his head , when he was kidnapped and flown to Ireland by his genetic sister who is not his bio sister. He said he no longer wanted to live and I stupidly concluded he might be suicidal. So I called the local gendarmery , and they sent a couple of gendarmes over to check as he is known to them. He was off meds, so they took him for a review, which promptly released him back, whereupon he called to let me know he is pissed at me. So my new attitude is whatever. He just called me again to remind me of that fact.

a.generic doc said...

Did he refuse an EEG because you were going to send thoughts to his brain with all those wires?

Mr Mobius said...

But I thought the bone marrow test was only to check that the lymphoma cells the government injected into you when giving you your childhood vaccines were actually beginning to function as they are supposed to.

You learn something new every day though... Need to go back and read up about this.

Ami said...

My god. My father visits your office?
Let's all join in singing. "It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a...."

Well yeah.

Ms. Donna said...

I agree w/ bobbie. TURF!!!! Of course, the suspected cancer might be affecting higher functions ...

Nah!

Mama D said...

Batshit crazy, all of them!!

arzt4empfaenger said...

Well played, Mr. Mobius, well played.

Yeah, turf to psych, gogogo!

Anonymous said...

The government can't run anything that well.

RehabRN said...

Damn Grumpy!

You should come with me to the Hotel (a governmint institution).

Here's what I hear...

Asking about getting a flu shot (which I get at work)

Vet: "I ain't lettin' no VA expermint on me."

Me: "Mr. X., you know you can go elsewhere for your healthcare, if you don't like it here."

Vet: "Why, when the VA is free?"

Me: (smacks head on table after he leaves).

I really think they keep coming back (at least in December) for the freebies all the volunteers bring.

 
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