Now, admittedly, my entire campaign thus far is based on one issue, but yesterday while attending a 9-year-old girl's birthday party with my kids, I came up with a second point.
While I strongly support freedom of expression, I also believe some times are better than others to express your beliefs.
So, if elected President, I promise you this:
Any father who shows up at his 9-year daughter's birthday party wearing a T-shirt that says "IT AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" with an arrow pointing downwards, will be immediately castrated by specially trained fashion police.
Vote Grumpy, 2012!